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Post by misa on Jul 21, 2008 20:35:42 GMT
Madeleine swore quietly, but Misa heard the shock and the horror there. The disgust. She understood all too well, it was exactly how she felt everytime she saw any part of herself in the mirror. "Oh, Christ, Misa," She bit her lip, did Madeleine really have to be so...blunt? The thing itself hurt enough, without that. "I can heal it, if you like - but how did that happen?" "Stairs..." she mumbled. as she dropped the hem of her shirt. Did she really have to treat her like a complete child? All this make-it-better nonsense. It was her own fault, she was dealing with it.
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Post by Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford on Jul 23, 2008 17:22:24 GMT
Madeleine nodded, shaking her head, as though to get rid of the image of Misa's bruise. "Misa," she started, but bit the rest of it off. No matter how much she begged, Misa was not likely to go and talk to someone about this; and Madeleine knew it. Misa was not going to go to the Carers, or Nurse Gornray, or Professor Hoodham, and though she was conccerned, Madeleine was not about to go behind Misa's back to do it. When Misa was ready, Misa would be ready. "Misa," she started again. "I know you don't want to, but you have to speak to someone about this. This shouldn't... this shouldn't be happening."
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Post by misa on Jul 23, 2008 17:33:05 GMT
She dropped her shirt hem sharply, wincing as it frisked across the bruise. "I don't have to speak to someone about this. Talking about things won't change them and besides; I told you." She hadn't meant the words to sound so harsh - she hadn't meant to say them at all. And yet they wouldn't stop coming now they'd started. "And who are you to say what should or shouldn't happen? Terrorism kills hundreds of innocents, mothers are stolen from their children by cancer, thousands of soldiers march off to war and their deaths, leaving their families afraid to answer the bloody phone. Should any of that sh!t happen? No! And yet it does.
The force of her response shocked Misa; where was all this coming from? "What the hell does what's happening to me matter when the world is drowning in what shouldn't be happening?" Her head was spinning, her chest was heaving, her heart was aching, her eyes were glazing. A simple "I know," wouldn't have done, apparently.
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Post by Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford on Jul 23, 2008 19:03:05 GMT
Dammit, her eyes were tearing up, and Madeleine found herself wanting to kick the ground violently for the sheer stupidity of them both. "I know, Misa," she sighed. "I know. Shít happens. It happens everywhere, and too often." She knew that too well. "...thousands of soldiers march of to war and their deaths, leaving their families afraid to answer the bloody phone..." She had to be the one leading soldiers out to their deaths. She had to be the one to watch them die. She had to be the one to phone their families, to tell them that their child had just died. That they were gone, and that they would never come back. Madeleine bloody well knew that bad things happen, and that they shouldn't. So, for once, she was trying to stop the shít from going any further. Couldn't Misa see that? That she was just the same as all of the others who had bad things happening - she was worth exactly the same as all of them. "But the ... thegeneral global shít is made up of millions of the things that shouldn't happen, but do happen to individual people. Every one of those things makes up what the world is drowning in. I don't know how to get this across to you, Misa, but every one can..." She tailed off, not knowing what to say to her to convince her, or how to put her thoughts into words.
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Post by misa on Jul 30, 2008 9:23:54 GMT
"No, Madeleine, every one can't. Every one is different. Different lives, different situations, different sides. Every one can't be prevented, because perhaps some aren't worth it, some don't deserve it. Efforts can go elsewhere to other deserviong cases, and hell, I'm pretty sure they have enough of those round here," it hurt admitting how little she was perfectly aware she was worth aloud. Far more than she'd anticipated. Suddenly the buckles on her Mary Janes were fascinating, if not a little blurry. "Besides," she continued, lowering her voice which had been increasing in volume continuously. "It's too late. Now is too late. Perhaps if, you know, all those months ago, you'd - I don't know, maybe then it would've, could've been different. But not now.
"Now is too late for you to be giving sermons with that St. Jude tone, because I am already aware I'm a lost cause, a hopeless case. I-" Misa voice cracked, but she pushed through it. "I reached out to you, Madeleine, it got me nowhere. So don't give me that, because they aren't. Every one of the droplets that create the flood waters are different shapes and sizes. Perhaps there is a time to catch each one, just maybe. But mine has already joined the water."
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Post by Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford on Jul 31, 2008 14:09:49 GMT
Madeleine immediately bristled at that, mainly because Misa had hit a nerve. Madeleine knew that there was more that she could have done, but she couldn't do - because Misa wouldn't let her, and Misa needed to help herself, to believe that she was deserving of getting this fixed. Madeleine couldn't do it without her. And St. Jude? Who was St. Jude? Madeleine cast her mind back to everything Annie Sorley (Jace's mother, and a devout Catholic) had ever told her about the saints, trying to remember who St. Jude was. ... patron saint of desperate cases. Immediately, white anger rose up behind Madeleine's eyes. So Misa thought that she was styling herself as some sort of saint, did she? That she was giving sermons, patronising her? "I've been trying to help you, Misa," she said quietly, the danger in her masked by a gently tone. "But I can't do much until you try to help yourself. You won't let me go to someone who knows what's happening, you won't let me go to Nurse Gornray - so what else can I do? I don't know enough to be able to fix it, but you won't go to anyone who can fix it." She could have just left it there, but the anger at her tongue wanted to put an extra word it. "And so you know, Misa, I'm not giving fu-" She bit it off. "I'm not giving sermons. I'm trying to help."
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Post by misa on Aug 1, 2008 11:17:18 GMT
"I know!" Misa cried, exasperatedly. She sighed and lowered her voice. "I know, you're trying. But you're wrong. I've been trying to help myself," all those fruitless hours of searching for something, anything, in the library that could explain to her why, if not how, this was happening to her sprang to mind. "And now I've got something. A small chance, a tiny window of opportunity in which to help myself and end this, and I'm standing here arguing with you instead - the last thing I want to do. I brought you out here because-" Why? "Because-" She couldn't tell her the truth so, why? "because- because I'm scared. Because you're my person, the only one who knows." It wasn't a total lie. She was utterly terrified. And Madeleine was the only person who knew. But should she really have told Madeleine that - any of that?
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Post by Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford on Aug 3, 2008 20:06:07 GMT
“Because – because… because- because I'm scared. Because you're my person, the only one who knows." A window of opportunity? What did she mean by ‘window of opportunity’? What was Misa playing at? What was happening?! Misa was obviously taking help from someone on the outside. Someone not at Orchid Hill, but someone else who knew about all of this. Knew what this was. Was controlling Misa’s mind. Madeleine froze for a moment, immediately thinking of Orla. But that was ridiculous, Orla was dead. She knew that. Orla couldn’t control Misa anymore, because she wasn’t there. But still, it didn’t rule out enemy involvement. Misa could be walking straight into a trap. “Misa, where are we going?”
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Post by misa on Aug 3, 2008 21:42:48 GMT
Havernsmith fields at sunset. The phrase had been swirling in her mind, repeating again and again since she'd heard it or however she was getting these messages. It was like her brain was afraid of forgetting the information so it kept bringing it to her attention every five seconds. Like that could happen. There was no way, come hell or high water she was going to let this slip by, it was her chance to level out the slippery slope her life had become, and she was not going to miss it. Havernsmith fields at sunset. But, was that the answer Madeleine was really looking for? Sure, she could give the location, but as for where they were going, what they were headed for...she didn't know. "Havernsmith fields. W-I," Misa carefully shifted the pronoun, "I need to be there by sunset, which is in like, "a quick glance at the sky and a quick caculated gamble," -five minutes. I want you to come with me, but if you don't, well, I'm going by myself." Lies, more lies. She didn't want to bring Madeleine, she had to. So long as Madeleine didn't call her bluff she'd been fine.
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Post by Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford on Aug 12, 2008 20:38:05 GMT
There was no way Madeleine was letting Misa go on her own. "No, I'm coming," she said quickly, before Misa could change her mind. "Would you mind telling me, though, exactly why we're going here?" In other words - who told her to come here? What did this opportunity entail? And what was with all the secrecy...? She didn't like the secrecy, and she didn't like the fact that they'd been told to meet at sunset. It would be dark soon, and the dark was combined with the unknown - and Madeleine wasn't exactly... comfortable with all this. At all. Especially since no one knew where they were going - and she didn't have her dratted phone with her! She could psychokinesis it over- But phoning someone would maybe make Misa bolt again. Dammit.
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Post by misa on Sept 12, 2008 18:46:14 GMT
Well, thank God for that. Misa allowed oxygen to enter her lungs again as her gamble paid off. Although nothing was set in stone, yet. She had to be careful, particularly with the look Madeleine was giving her, like she was some nervous horse that could bridle at any second. "Erm, it's sort of...complicated. Do you remember what I told you? About your brother? It's like how I got that. He's talking to me again." She sounded crazy, well and truly mental, so what was the point in stopping now? "And he was right the first time. Well, he proved what he said he would and I believe him-" -I make think him a complete tool, but I believe him was a phrase she decided to decline from using. "So now I'm going to do what he said and it will prove what he said it will and I will be free of whatever is wrong with me." She was barely making sense, a cloud of confused words throwing themselves through her mouth and mingling in the air round her head without an iota of sense between the lot of them. But maybe Madeleine would understand. Maybe.
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Post by Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford on Sept 13, 2008 17:31:35 GMT
d**nit. Madeleine kept her face stoic, but was a silent stream of swear words were coming to her tongue. For God’s sake, it was blatantly obvious that Misa was being led into a trap, and… Now she wished she could call for backup, but that would make Misa freak out and bolt off there on her own, and there was no way in hell that Madeleine was allowing her to go on her own. Jesus. Luckily, she still had a small knife in her belt, though she wasn’t likely to have to use it… the answers to several different situations were forming in her head, and her breathing came a little bit easier. After all, if they were trying to trap Misa, it was hardly likely that that many people would be there, seeing as they were only expecting her and no one else… She’d focus on that, rather than Misa’s confusing words. “And… right, you’re sure that it’s definitely him, yeah?”
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Post by misa on Sept 13, 2008 18:39:38 GMT
"I'm sure." Misa replied firmly, acutely aware that this conversation couldn't go on much longer or else she would miss this chance; her only chance. "Right we need to get moving," she said and began to walk with dogged determination toward the boundary that separated the safety of Orchid Hill from the unknown outside. But she wasn't really safe in Orchid Hill, anyway, so what difference would it make to her? For a moment she nearly hoped that when she crossed that line, so to speak, something would happen. An invisible barrier that stopped her in her tracks and prevented the very stupid thing she felt sure this was going to end up being from happening at all, but it didn't. She just continued on and now there really was no turning back, she had to see this through to the end, whatever that may be and whatever it may cost her - after all, how could she pay a price any larger than the one she was paying with her health?
(ooc://finished at last.)
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