The Ultimate Coldplay Song

[Jude Dorrian]

The sky was midnight blue as Jude stepped out into the gardens; decorated with stars that would seem faint to he un-enhanced eye, but to Jude, they sparkled like diamonds. And the smells! The sweet, fragrant fumes of the flowers attacked him from all directions, knocking him back slightly. He coughed, trying to let himself adjust to it. It was a relief to get out of the disco anyway; into the cool, open air. Inside, the music was deafening. He didn't need to wear these ear plugs anymore, at least. He tugged them out, and the music rose in volume again, even though he was outside. He pressed his lips together, looking back inside.
He wished he hadn't had to leave Ailith like that, but he knew she'd understand. She looked so good tonight- he hadn't been expecting it, especially since at the last party thing she'd been a gored up cheerleader! He'd known she was going to look beautiful...
... just not that beautiful.
His senses finally adjusting, and calming down, Jude began to trace the familiar route around the gardens. From the bushes, giggles echoed shrilly like birds, and Jude smiled as he passed one of them, with the strangest feeling that Jack Trove's night was going pretty goddam well...
Then, he saw her.
Maddox sat a far distance away; a few more gardens across. She looked quite isolated, alone... dejected. Look at that slump in her shoulders; the way her dark, now messy curls fell across her face. Her frame seemed weak; broken, and in her hand, an iPod lay still. Jude pressed his lips together as he watched her. Now what? What could he possibly say to Maddox about Lee?
What could he do?
He wouldn't know until he tried.
Taking a deep breath, Jude followed the winding paths carefully; keeping his step light until he reached Maddox's bench. He stood behind her, still silent, and wondered vaguely how loud her iPod was. He stepped forward, and placed his hand on her shoulder, to let her know he was there.
"Hey, Maddox- y'all want any company?"

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

Sniff.
Madeleine's quiet sniffs seemed to be the only sound in the quiet night - even the birds were silent. She'd heard a couple of couples drift past, but no one had paid any attention to whatever animal she'd changed into when hearing them approach.
Some people would wonder why she was doing this, but Madeleine knew that people would freak if she was found crying. After all, Warriors didn't cry - least of all the Head. When the Head was in trouble, so was the school.
And she was glad of her disguise when Levi Ryder and Jessica Hearte ambled past, Levi's smooth voice entering her personal bubble and just making her cry harder at all the wasted time.
Now, she wasn't just crying about Lee's words. Everything that she'd ever dammed up was flowing from her eyes now. Their break-up, her coma, even Shaun...
She wasn't sobbing - her pride wouldn't let her do that. It was already lashing her about the salty tears that were rolling down her cheeks, leaving oddly beautiful silver trails that gleamed in the moonlight, though she couldn't see those.
She felt so stupid, crying there in a prom dress of all things, but... God, love was a b*tch. She almost wished that she'd had more self-control and been able to stop herself becoming so weak.
But at least she had the memories. And even though right now each one was burning her, at least she had them.
She probably could have lived without that message, though. That contrast had proved to be far too much for her to deal with.
She felt a hand on her shoulder, and started, but then relaxed as she heard Jude's voice.
"Hey, Maddox - y'all want any company?"
Relaxing, she wiped the tears from her eyes with a finger.
Waterproof make-up. Thank God for Olivia's foresight.
"Sure," she sniffed, attempting to smile. "Sorry about... about this, just give me a minute. Bit of a rough night."

[Jude Dorrian]

Jude drew his hand back now, skirting around the side of the bench. He hovered for a few moments as she wiped at her eyes; then, when she seemed ready, he sat down slowly beside her.
So she'd been crying.
His worst fears were confirmed at once. Lee must've done something- said something- well, it must be something awful. And it got him mad too. What right did Lee have to say anything to make Maddox this upset?! His fists curled. His friend better have one hell of an excuse for this one...
"Maddox," Jude said, his voice deliberately soft, and soothing. "What happened to you?"

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

His tone made her dissolve again.
She cursed playfully in a way that contradicted her tears with no effect at all, as she wiped her eyes again.
"Ugh, s-sorry, Jude," she said, attempting to crack a smile. "I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm usually a ... a lot better than this."
Just breathe.
These two words were spoken in Shaun's voice in her head, and that was almost enough to set her off again.
But she kept it together, taking deep breaths of the night air until she was ready to speak.
"Lee... oh, God."
What would Jude think of her for this?
"I... yesterday, Lee and I ... kissed." Another deep breath. "He came to his senses b-before I did. And... just there, he... he told me that he didn't want to see me ever again."
There. Another tear.

[Jude Dorrian]

Awesome. Just awesome.
Jude almost laughed aloud. What an idiot. And he thought he was doing the right thing?! Jude could just imagine what was going through that guy's head- self-righteous and proud, Lee probably thought he was doing the right thing for himself and for Maddox. How could he think that? The silver tears glinting on Maddox's cheeks were all the proof anyone should need that this was exactly the wrong thing to have done!
Worse still- would the old Lee have known any better? No, probably not.
Jude closed his eyes, inhaling deeply, and praying to whatever the hell was up there that he would never, ever reduce Ailith to the wreck Lee had left Maddox.
Then he opened them to catch another of her tears falling.
"Maddox, I'm sorry."
'Cause he couldn't say anything else. Not yet.

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

All she could do was nod.
Because, what else could she do?
Another few tears rolled down her face, and suddenly, an overwhelming wave of... of what? Despair? Grief? Nausea?
He was only a guy, after all. He should mean nothing.
But the thing was, he meant everything.
She clutched the edge of the bench, as if it was the only thing anchoring her from being washed away in this wave.
"That's... not even it all, Jude..."
Her breath was almost coming in gasps now as she struggled against the wave.
"Listen," she said, pushing the iPod at him. "He left this be... before..."

[Jude Dorrian]

Jude took the iPod from her, turning it down slightly, and switched it on. The message was brief, and direct. The message opened up questions. The message opened up scars.
The dreams. Was this something he could've prevented?
Libba... who was Libba?
Lee was really gonna kill him. He was really... prepared to do that.
And it got better...
"... I don't need to believe in soulmates. I've got you."
That was what folks call the final nail in the coffin.
He didn't want to look at Maddox as the message went dead. He could hear her beside him still; throughout the message, gasping, and breathing, and trying to control herself. It was that military thing- self-control, and self-discipline. Jude couldn't talk, he guessed. He was chock full of that. But he'd never had something like what Maddox was suppressing... never had something that bad.
In fact, he admired Maddox. He knew girls who would be half-way to hell by now after getting a message like that.
"Here," Jude said, flicking the iPod on, and moving it forward until he found the right song.
Fix You.
This could work.
"Now, you listen," he said firmly, giving it back to her, and pressing play. "You listen to what it's saying, and then, if you like, we can talk."
He was there- starring in the role of the shoulder to cry on.

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

... when the tears come streaming down your face,
When you lose someone you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
By the end of the first verse, she had completely lost it. The tears were streaming, her breath gasping, her hands shaking. Her ribs were contracting, squeezing her lungs and heart and causing pain... so much pain. Her throat was caving in on itself, only expanding to choke out strangled sobs.
Was this a breakdown?
Stupid song. It was only reminding her of what she was trying to supress.
But repressing it had gone to hell now, really. She couldn't stop.
Because...
Why? Why was she crying?
That was love, dammit.
At the end of the song, she pulled out the earphones and leaned back, trying her very hardest to still the sobs.

[Jude Dorrian]

Jude watched her reaction to the song; relieved the see the tears pouring out freely now. No point in suppressing those d**n things once they were there. It was like with Tameron... that day, when she'd broke down. If he hadn't made her cry again... he didn't like to think what could've happened.
Now Maddox was crying.
That was good.
Well no, no it wasn't. It was bad. It was goddam f*cking awful- basically. But it was good, too, in a way.
He prised the iPod gently from her fingers, setting it down on the ground, and watching her through soft, sad blue eyes. He waited in silence; unsure of whether to touch her or not. He wasn't sure whether a hug was appropriate. Girls had it easy. They could hug each other all they liked. But since Jude was a guy, he couldn't touch Maddox. Why?
Because he was a guy, and he could remind her of Lee.
"Don't do that," he said suddenly, recognizing the gasping noises that told him she was trying to suppress her tears. "Don't try to stop yourself crying like that. You've got to get it out of your system."

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

Jude's tone was soft, and at once it soothed and stung.
"I c- I can't cry, Jude."
Her voice was rasping, quiet, like a radio searching for the signal it needed. And, after all, wasn't that what the little part of her brain she called her heart was crying for? The thing that she needed? Her signal?
You are my signal fire...
But for once, she was right. She couldn't cry. She was Madeleine Baudelaire. A Warrior. More than that, Head of the Warriors. And again, more than that, a Baudelaire Head of Warriors?
Crying was... God, it was such a weakness.
The worst part was that it was her own fault.
She slumped forward, burying her face in her hands. "Why did I... how could I have k-kissed him? S-stupid-"
And her throat closed again.

[Jude Dorrian]

Oh, don't talk like that.
"How could you have?" Jude repeated, letting himself chuckled for her benefit. "Maddox, stop blaming yourself. Y'all expect far too much of yourself- and put far too much pressure on yourself. It was an accident, okay? You shouldn't beat yourself up over an accident. Everyone's allowed an accident, or two."
Or three.
Or five.
Or 8.7 million...
And still, she kept trying to suppress those tears. And he knew she should stop doing that. He knew the drill. He'd seen girls who couldn't cry, and guys who couldn't get angry. People who didn't allow themselves to feel things were killing themselves.
It was basic- elementary school level stuff.
Cry if you gotta cry.
Get mad if you just gotta get mad.
Scream if you need to.
It was easy, really.
And obvious. All in the psychology of stuff.

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

This next sob came out as little more than a squeak as she shook her head, messy curls flying.
"I... I'm H-Head of the War-Warriors. I can't... I can't have accidents, I..."
What she was trying to say was that one accident could kill. One accident could lose a war. One accident could risk a million people's lives.
She couldn't have accidents, for fear of the consequences. Things went badly.
This was proof.
A bitter laugh escaped her lips, and her throat opened again, letting almost a full sentence out this time. "It - it shouldn't have been an a-accident, I mean, heaven forbid that I should be able to..."
The big black wave came again, breaking over her.
The rest of the sentence was finished in a whisper. "... to kiss the guy I love. H-heaven forbid."

[Jude Dorrian]

Ailith hovered before his eyes; and a rebellious thought escaped and ran forward- tempting him back to her inside the school. He clamped down on it; his fists still furled, with the nails digging in. Yeah, heaven forbid he couldn't ever kiss Ailith again. That would be one version of hell, certainly.
So what did he say now?
I know what you mean?
He's not worth it?
Move on, and find something better?
Stupid, empty words.
"One accident, Maddox," Jude said softly, still feeling stupid, and devoid of anything worthy. He felt like he'd ran out of band aids. "It means nothing. Yes, you kissed him. What did he do? Did he kiss you back, or something? 'Cause if he did, he made the same mistake."
That was proof enough. Everyone made mistakes.
"Everyone makes mistakes. We're people. We're allowed- even if we are big-shot Heads," he chanced a grin. "Yeah, even they can have the odd slip-up."
What I need you to do now is get that into your head.

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

She gave a forced weak, watery chuckle.
He had kissed her back - but come on; any guy would do the same. It was a little thing called testosterone.
And, well, at least she'd had one last kiss.
Last.
The word sent a current of pain running through her bloodstream, and she had to clamp down on on her lip to stop the cry escaping.
More tears leaked, though.
"God, Jude, this hurts."

[Jude Dorrian]

"Yeah," he shrugged awkwardly. "Well. I'd be worried if it didn't."
Finally, he let his fists unfurl; no longer concentrating on what Lee's face would look like if he socked him one, and instead focusing on his concern for his friend. He hadn't had to do this for so long- act like a sounding board; something people just bounce their thoughts and feelings off.
It got him kinda mad that he had to do it again.
He grinned to himself at that, and curled his fingers back. Yeah, maybe he wasn't quite over that bout of anger yet.