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Post by Will Wright on Dec 27, 2007 20:17:19 GMT
Will sat in the library with a book in her hand. She was doing some german homework that she had gotten behind on.
Ugh, this should be easy. She was german for crying out loud!
"Arhg! Ich hasse nicht in der LageSEIN, sich so zu konzentrieren. Mama, Vati, wo Sie sind, wenn ich Sie? benötige! Wie jetzt mehr als überhaupt..." Will errupted, "I really do!"
She started banging her head of the books. Finally she stopped, her face down and crying silently.
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Post by Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford on Dec 27, 2007 20:33:22 GMT
Reader, I married him...
Madeleine read the last chapter of her well-read copy of Jane Eyre before sighing and closing the book. It was a favourite of hers, even though she hated the "hero". Mr Rochester seemed despicable to her. She liked Emily Bronte's Heathcliff much better.
A stream of some language flowed from a table on the other side of the shelf, before a small sob. Suddenly worried, Madeleine picked up Jane and moved around.
Will was slumped there, sobbing.
Madeleine silently went and sat beside her. "German?" she said kindly.
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Post by Will Wright on Dec 27, 2007 20:44:46 GMT
"Yes," Will kept her head down, "Sorry if I disturbed you Madeleiene,"
She would recognize her voice anywhere. Soft yet stern.
She sniffed again and then looked out the window that was letting light from the moon shine through.
"I hate this," Will finally said as she sat back.
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Post by Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford on Dec 27, 2007 20:47:25 GMT
It was so dark.
"Hate what?" Madeleine asked softly.
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Post by Will Wright on Dec 27, 2007 20:53:11 GMT
"Everything in my life at the minute. I feel soo alone. Fair enough people are worse of than me, but I really miss my parents and I need them. I need someone. I can't stand feeling like this anymore, like I'm all alone in this world and everything seems to be getting harder than it should be. I should be able to do this German, I mean I am German so it should be easy to understand and easy to do but I can't. I'm sorry if I offended you, I didn't mean to. I just feel like everyone's against me at the minute," Will wiped her eyes as mascara streams flowed down her face.
She hated crying in front of people but she couldn't help it.
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Post by Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford on Dec 27, 2007 21:10:35 GMT
Awkwardly, Madeleine patted Will's shoulder.
"Don't worry about the German," she said in a soft, soothing tone. "Once you calm down, you'll get it no problem. But Will, you're not alone. You have us, right? I know losing... losing someone is hard," ... Shaun... "but you're not alone. You have your friends - and you have your boyfriend, right?"
In that respect, she was lucky.
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Post by Will Wright on Dec 27, 2007 21:14:46 GMT
Friends, yes, boyfriend..not so sure... Will thought thinking of the premonition she had had.
"Yeah and I'm grateful for you guys and sort of grateful for him but I still feel alone. At least you guys have parents, granted some of them may not be the best but at least you have them. Godparents are alright but they don't feel like home," she said her face contorted between pain, hurt and sadnesss. Her voice low and shakey.
"I really am grateful I have you guys but...." she trailed of not knowing what to say next.
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Post by Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford on Dec 27, 2007 21:28:49 GMT
Madeleine sighed at this.
"I have parents, Will, and they're great, but... I lost my brother, my best friend, my protecter. I think I know a little of what it feels like."
And now I've lost my boyfriend, my lover, my -
She cut off the word soulmate, knowing how her body would react to it.
"It doesn't stop hurting, and there's no substitute... but one day, you find somebody that makes you forget you're in pain."
The con was that when that person went... you were left in two pools of grief.
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Post by Will Wright on Dec 27, 2007 21:36:57 GMT
Will sighed. Madeleine's words were drenched in truth. She knew it but she didn't know weather to believe it or not.
Ever since she had come to this school it had brought back memories she thought she had gotten over a long time ago.
To her the school was trapping her and conering her. A jail that you couldn't escape once you were in it.
But no matter how much you tried. You couldn't escape it, it was strapping her down. It was suffocating her.
But what can I do?
"I know, I know, but I feel like this shcool has brought back to many memories that I thouhgt I had gotten over, I feel like I'm trapped in here," Will had calmed down a tiny bit. Not much.
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Post by Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford on Dec 27, 2007 22:01:04 GMT
"In the end, everywhere feels like that, Will."
For example, every time she saw a big knife, or blood, she was immediately transported back to the murder.
"You just have to learn to live with it."
Her hard words weren't hard at all, they were spoken softly, consolingly.
But behind lurked a vast pool of hurt.
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Post by Will Wright on Dec 28, 2007 0:09:58 GMT
"God, I hat this war so much. It hurts more than I can say, and when I killed that guy who had killed my parents and Anton...you're probably think I'm crazy or evil for saying this and because I'm Head of the Carers it's worse but...it felt good, it felt...right. You have no idea how much has been going through my head since then...like am I a murderer or psychopath or, or," she stuttered and coughed.
"Or if I am just a bad person. I mean yeah I've always been there to help people in the past and present but what about my future, what if..what if I turn out to be a murderer?" Will was scared and if her face or body language wasn't showing it then her voice was betreying her...big time.
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Post by Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford on Dec 28, 2007 8:24:08 GMT
Madeleine flinched at the word.
Murderer.
"Revenge is sweet," she quoted. "That doesn't make you a bad person; it makes you human. And besides, think of a battle, where everyone kills. You've killed one person. I've stolen the lives of far too many, and I teach others to murder - by anyone's standards, I'm on my way to hell. Even if I am doing this for a cause, what I believe is the right cause - to a lot of people, it's only right if we win. But I try to be a good person... I just hope that that's enough."
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Post by Will Wright on Dec 28, 2007 10:48:52 GMT
Will stared at Madeleine. At this preccise moment only one song came into her head.
Eve of Destruction
"Excuse me for a moment," Will turned away from her and started to dig in her bag for something.
"Come on, come on, where are you?you stupid little things?!" Will muttered furiously, "Gotcha,"
She took two headaches tablets and sighed in relief. They hadn't taken effect yet but she knew they would soon.
"Sorry," she apologized as she turned back to her friend.
"I don't know how you do it Madeleine, I really don't," Will broke the silence that had followed, "It's like, like, everytime I try to come up with something for my group to do my head just takes a mental blank for everything. I sometimes wonder if I'm even cut out for the job. You know sometimes I even feel like going up to Prof. Hoodham and telling to make someone like...Olivia or Tamika or Mike or someone like the Head. I never will but sometimes I just think they would be better having it than I am." Will was starting to feel a bit better about herself now.
The sorrrow in her was overwhelming.
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Post by Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford on Dec 28, 2007 16:31:43 GMT
Olivia? Head?
Madeleine loved her dearly, but that was a laughable idea.
"We all have those days," she replied quietly. "Hoodham wouldn't have picked you for no reason. And you've lasted this long, right?"
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Post by Will Wright on Dec 28, 2007 17:09:31 GMT
Hoodham wouldn't have picked you for no reason the words sounded like beels in her head. Reating over and over never able to rest.
Hoodham wouldn't have picked you for no reason...why did he pick me then? I think I may go and ask him, Will sat there, her eyes glazed over as she thought about it.
"I suppose so, I wonder why he did pick me?" Will thought out loud.
She would have to find out...sometime.
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