Spillage

[Kira & Lee Norris]

"I do," he said blankly, but his hand still refused to let go.
He should've foreseen this. d**n him! If he'd only... just... just let her walk away... or if he'd... argh... His breathing came in; shallow, rough... weak... He couldn't stop looking at her eyes, drinking her in; he'd never get tired of drinking her in... her soft dark curls; her long, thick lashes; the gentle slope of her cheek; the pink, perfect, tempting shape of her lips...
His other hand trembled; and he curled it into a fist, to stop it from touching her...
He just held her arm. It wasn't enough. She was right there; just within reach. God... would it be so bad to trace her soft skin just one more time? Would it be so terrible to let her dark curls tumble through his fingers? Would it be so bad to just... to just hold her and inhale her and just... just be?
"I do," he repeated. "I do."
But she was so close... and he stepped closer; a searing pain splitting open in his chest- screaming at him for his stupidity.
Why did he always look into peoples' eyes?
It wasn't people... it was her. There was something hypnotic about their bright blue. Even now, as he stared at her, he could see the pain in them. That pain cut into him like a knife; but he still couldn't let go. He could cure that pain if he just-
No! You can't. You can't. You'll only make it worse.
But if he just... just held her one more time... just kissed her one last time... Then it would be okay. He'd make it okay. Right?
Anything you do's gonna make it worse. You can't be what she needs. You don't remember anything. You can't make her feel better. You might've been in love.
But he could fall in love...
Can you guarantee it? You'll just make it worse. Face it, you'll always make it worse.
Lee knew it was right, and that was the worst part. The fact was, he could've spilled his guts to Maddie right now, and it wouldn't be enough. Whatever he felt... well, it was nothing compared to what she did. He had to put Madeleine first.
"I don't want you to go, Madeleine," he said finally, and suddenly, his fingers lost their grip, and slid down her arm; just tracing her hand. Now, he looked away, watching instead his fingers as they touched hers lightly; so lightly, she probably didn't even feel it. "The problem is... you have to."
And only now could he summon the willpower to turn away.

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

Don't do this to me, Lee...
His fingertips lightly skimmed over Madeleine's, a touch lighter than that of a butterfly's kiss, and yet she had to clamp down hard on her lip to stop the moan from escaping.
He was so close to her... it would be so easy for her to just reach out, to stroke the beautiful, painfully familiar countours of his face, to comb her fingers through his soft dark hair, to kiss the smile back onto his lips...
It was just too easy.
"Yeah..." she murmured softly in reply, just as he turned away from her. "That's... probably best."
Though, of course, part of her body was crying out to him, trying to make him turn around, to wrap his arms around her, to kiss her better...
... to love her.
She wasn't stupid; she knew that it wouldn't happen. Even if... even if her did want her, he couldn't love her, not in the way he used to. It would be enough... but only just. She couldn't stand being the only one with the memories. She'd always be wanting more, always screaming for him to... just to love her.
It was selfish, but she didn't know how to stop it.
And if Madeleine left - and left properly, this time - Lee would be free to have a chance to fall in love with another girl. He deserved that chance, even if he did end up with someone like... Sophie.
He deserved it.
So walk away, Madeleine. Just walk away.
Her feet refused to move.
Come on, just leave.
"It's for the best," she spoke aloud, though she wasn't sure who she was trying to convince.
He was just so close.
Finally her foot unglued itself from the floor, and she could step away from him, her footsteps silent as she walked away, skirting around the case.
But when she got a little further up the corridor, she stopped, and looked back.
"Lee?"

[Kira & Lee Norris]

Lee was back at the bag; watching it tiredly. He didn't know what to make of it. He sure as hell couldn't carry it back up. Even that big ol' walking bag of testosterome (i.e. Jack) probably would have a hard time carrying that up the many flights of stairs ahead of Lee. You'd think, considering it was a magical school, and all that, that Orchid Hill would at least have lifts.
"Lee?"
Goddamit.
He bent down again, pretending to fix the straps on his bag. He wouldn't fall into the trap of looking at her again. If he looked at her this time...
It could only do more damage than good.
"Yeah?" he said slowly, warily.

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

I love you...
Madeleine watched him silently for a few seconds, well aware that he was avoiding looking at her. And that was probably a good thing, really. If she had to look into his eyes, any resolution here would fail.
"Em..."
She stalled for a second - she knew what she wanted to say, but she couldn't say it.
"Happy New Year."
And with that, she walked away quickly, feeling the level of treacly mess in her heart rise and spill over...