Post by Isolde Moore on Aug 17, 2009 13:42:24 GMT
“Isolde. I’m… I’m not going to say goodbye to you anymore. I’ll speak to you everyday, or at least try to, you know me. And as soon as I get the money I’ll come and see you… So really… we don’t need to say goodbye.” taking her hands he held them up in front of him and spoke his last words before turning and leaving her.
Isolde couldn't stop the replay of what had just happened moments ago, in her head. It was on repeat. And it wouldn't stop no matter how many times she tried to push the button. It was broken. She brought her right hand up to her lips where the first three fingers came to rest gently on them.
The feeling of his lips still lingered there. Those soft, gentle lips. And even though her heart was ripping apart with every single step she took to bring her back to her dorm room she found herself starting to smile. And that smile grew and grew and grew. She didn't know how she could smile at a time like this. It was the most depressing moment in all of her life so far. What she did know was the reason-reasons behind the smile though.
Scott.
She was going through all the stuff they had done together. All the fun and erm "accidents" in air control. Air control. That was when they had first met. First talked. First time he smiled at her. Spoke to her. She had just been a girl in the class, nothing ordinary and he had decided to talk to her. First time he laughed at her while she embarrassed herself by doing her, 'Excited puppy bounce' as he had called it. Air control had been the first time having anything to do with each other.
Then that time on the mountains, it seemed like they would never have stopped laughing or smiling. That was probably the first time in her life were she had smiled soo much. And the way he had stopped so suddenly as he had been about to ask her something. Coming to think of it she had actually never found out what he had been about to ask her. He had never answered her when she had asked.
Scott always seemed to make her smile or laugh in a way nobody else could. She would miss it. She would miss Scott.
Then the night they had actually gotten together on.
The battle.
The hospital.
And then the library. Which had been not fifteen minutes ago. The most heart-wrenching and breaking moment of her life. The most painful. Being stabbed by a sword was like being scratched compared to the pain she was going through now. And the pain was because she had caused Scott pain and despite what he had said, she was worrying about him. That just couldn't be helped. She was always going to worry about him.
He was hers. Hers to protect.
"Tsk. You're mucking that up royally." she muttered to herself as she pushed the door of her room open. She stopped, the door clicking behind her and she looked at her bed. Everything would be easy to pack. Isolde liked to keep things tidy and organized. Sighing, she shuffled over to her bed and grabbed her two duffle bags and laid them on top of her bag. First thing to be packed where her clothes. Once they were all in all she needed tof pack was her art work.
As she shuffled through all her work she came across an unfinished picture. She lifted it and stared at it. It was a picture of herself and Scott sitting on the grassy part of the gardens with her leaning on him and he had his arms wrapped around her with Corey and Julian in the background. She had done most of the shading and colouring with pencil but it needed a tiny bit of colour in it. And so she unpacked her colouring pencils and one or two paints and added the finishing touches.
Leaving it on the desk she put the pencils and paints back into the bag but lifted out a pen. She knew what she was going to do now. She had to. She got out her special, thin paper and crossed over to sit on the window sill were she began to write.
Scott
I thought I'd leave a little something behind for you. I hope you'll like it and I know it's not much but...I'm going to miss you so much. I don't know if I'll ever be allowed to come back but I hope I will be able to. I'll fight with all I have to come back. I know I hurt you and I am so very sorry to have done so.
I know you said you'd phone me tonight but please don't. I don't think that would be the best thing in the world to do. Maybe tomorrow. I know you said there'll be no more goodbyes but this is my last one, until I see you again, which will hopefully be very soon. Take care of yourself and Corey-such a sweet dog =) Keep paying attention in class and don't cause anymore.....accidents, lol and try not to push Prof. Archer to far..I don't think his blood pressure can go any higher, haha.
Miss you every second we're apart. I love you so much and nobody has ever touched my heart the way you have and nobody else will be able to. My heart is yours forever.
Love you so much.
Isolde xoxoxox[/font]
She slid the letter into the thin envelope and sealed it with a kiss. Not a single tear had been shed when it had been written to which she was amazed by. Maybe my tears ran out. She then went around and made sure she had absolutely everything packed before rolling up the picture loosely and tying a red ribbon in a bow around it. She then lifted her three bags and walked out of the room and down the corridor. Nobody was in the Common Room which was a relief to her. Setting her bags beside the sofa she made sure she had the letter and the picture in her hand and crossed the common room and went through the door that had the boy's dormitories marked. For some reason this part of the school was eerily quiet. It was usually buzzing with students so Isolde was kind of unnerved by it.
She stood outside the room. It was the last farewell she was going to be leaving him before she left for good. It seemed so final. Pulling herself together she reached out and turned the handle. The door opened revealing an empty dorm to her relief. She walked in ever so slowly and stopped before gazing at his bed. Isolde stared at it with great sadness.
"It has to be done. Just get it over and done with." she murmured to herself as she walked over and put the envelope and picture on his pillow. She sat down on the bed and picked up one of his hoodies that was on the back of a chair and put it up to her face and breathed in his scent. It was too hard. She felt her heart drop further. Her eyes were starting to sting again. Starting to tear. She blinked and then slid the hoodie over her head and lay back on his bed. She couldn't do it. She couldn't tear herself away from his side. She couldn't leave him.
Alone.
Closing her eyes she tightly shut her lips to stop herself from screaming. It was too painful. You have too. You have to leave him, you don't have a choice. Just get up and leave. Don't make it any harder than it already is. she kept saying things like this in her head for what seemed like a long time until it finally started to sink in. She wiped her eyes and slowly sat up before taking a few deep breaths and standing up.
I wonder if he'd mind if I stole his hoodie.. she stood there debating for another few minutes until she spotted a picture on his desk. He was squatting down with his arm around Corey and a big smile on his face. Just seeing him smile in a picture made her laugh. She picked it up and looked at it for a few seconds before setting it back down. Taking a final look to make sure she had left the two things on his pillow she turned tail and walked back out of the boys dorms and grabbed her bags and walked through the school outside and as she got to the gates she turned around to look at the school and smiled sadly before making her way to the train station.
Isolde couldn't stop the replay of what had just happened moments ago, in her head. It was on repeat. And it wouldn't stop no matter how many times she tried to push the button. It was broken. She brought her right hand up to her lips where the first three fingers came to rest gently on them.
The feeling of his lips still lingered there. Those soft, gentle lips. And even though her heart was ripping apart with every single step she took to bring her back to her dorm room she found herself starting to smile. And that smile grew and grew and grew. She didn't know how she could smile at a time like this. It was the most depressing moment in all of her life so far. What she did know was the reason-reasons behind the smile though.
Scott.
She was going through all the stuff they had done together. All the fun and erm "accidents" in air control. Air control. That was when they had first met. First talked. First time he smiled at her. Spoke to her. She had just been a girl in the class, nothing ordinary and he had decided to talk to her. First time he laughed at her while she embarrassed herself by doing her, 'Excited puppy bounce' as he had called it. Air control had been the first time having anything to do with each other.
Then that time on the mountains, it seemed like they would never have stopped laughing or smiling. That was probably the first time in her life were she had smiled soo much. And the way he had stopped so suddenly as he had been about to ask her something. Coming to think of it she had actually never found out what he had been about to ask her. He had never answered her when she had asked.
Scott always seemed to make her smile or laugh in a way nobody else could. She would miss it. She would miss Scott.
Then the night they had actually gotten together on.
The battle.
The hospital.
And then the library. Which had been not fifteen minutes ago. The most heart-wrenching and breaking moment of her life. The most painful. Being stabbed by a sword was like being scratched compared to the pain she was going through now. And the pain was because she had caused Scott pain and despite what he had said, she was worrying about him. That just couldn't be helped. She was always going to worry about him.
He was hers. Hers to protect.
"Tsk. You're mucking that up royally." she muttered to herself as she pushed the door of her room open. She stopped, the door clicking behind her and she looked at her bed. Everything would be easy to pack. Isolde liked to keep things tidy and organized. Sighing, she shuffled over to her bed and grabbed her two duffle bags and laid them on top of her bag. First thing to be packed where her clothes. Once they were all in all she needed tof pack was her art work.
As she shuffled through all her work she came across an unfinished picture. She lifted it and stared at it. It was a picture of herself and Scott sitting on the grassy part of the gardens with her leaning on him and he had his arms wrapped around her with Corey and Julian in the background. She had done most of the shading and colouring with pencil but it needed a tiny bit of colour in it. And so she unpacked her colouring pencils and one or two paints and added the finishing touches.
Leaving it on the desk she put the pencils and paints back into the bag but lifted out a pen. She knew what she was going to do now. She had to. She got out her special, thin paper and crossed over to sit on the window sill were she began to write.
Scott
I thought I'd leave a little something behind for you. I hope you'll like it and I know it's not much but...I'm going to miss you so much. I don't know if I'll ever be allowed to come back but I hope I will be able to. I'll fight with all I have to come back. I know I hurt you and I am so very sorry to have done so.
I know you said you'd phone me tonight but please don't. I don't think that would be the best thing in the world to do. Maybe tomorrow. I know you said there'll be no more goodbyes but this is my last one, until I see you again, which will hopefully be very soon. Take care of yourself and Corey-such a sweet dog =) Keep paying attention in class and don't cause anymore.....accidents, lol and try not to push Prof. Archer to far..I don't think his blood pressure can go any higher, haha.
Miss you every second we're apart. I love you so much and nobody has ever touched my heart the way you have and nobody else will be able to. My heart is yours forever.
Love you so much.
Isolde xoxoxox[/font]
She slid the letter into the thin envelope and sealed it with a kiss. Not a single tear had been shed when it had been written to which she was amazed by. Maybe my tears ran out. She then went around and made sure she had absolutely everything packed before rolling up the picture loosely and tying a red ribbon in a bow around it. She then lifted her three bags and walked out of the room and down the corridor. Nobody was in the Common Room which was a relief to her. Setting her bags beside the sofa she made sure she had the letter and the picture in her hand and crossed the common room and went through the door that had the boy's dormitories marked. For some reason this part of the school was eerily quiet. It was usually buzzing with students so Isolde was kind of unnerved by it.
She stood outside the room. It was the last farewell she was going to be leaving him before she left for good. It seemed so final. Pulling herself together she reached out and turned the handle. The door opened revealing an empty dorm to her relief. She walked in ever so slowly and stopped before gazing at his bed. Isolde stared at it with great sadness.
"It has to be done. Just get it over and done with." she murmured to herself as she walked over and put the envelope and picture on his pillow. She sat down on the bed and picked up one of his hoodies that was on the back of a chair and put it up to her face and breathed in his scent. It was too hard. She felt her heart drop further. Her eyes were starting to sting again. Starting to tear. She blinked and then slid the hoodie over her head and lay back on his bed. She couldn't do it. She couldn't tear herself away from his side. She couldn't leave him.
Alone.
Closing her eyes she tightly shut her lips to stop herself from screaming. It was too painful. You have too. You have to leave him, you don't have a choice. Just get up and leave. Don't make it any harder than it already is. she kept saying things like this in her head for what seemed like a long time until it finally started to sink in. She wiped her eyes and slowly sat up before taking a few deep breaths and standing up.
I wonder if he'd mind if I stole his hoodie.. she stood there debating for another few minutes until she spotted a picture on his desk. He was squatting down with his arm around Corey and a big smile on his face. Just seeing him smile in a picture made her laugh. She picked it up and looked at it for a few seconds before setting it back down. Taking a final look to make sure she had left the two things on his pillow she turned tail and walked back out of the boys dorms and grabbed her bags and walked through the school outside and as she got to the gates she turned around to look at the school and smiled sadly before making her way to the train station.
