Memory Lane

[Kira & Lee Norris]

Inappropriate as it seemed, Lee knew as he looked around that Kira would love it here. Perhaps she wouldn't like the constant buzzing atmosphere of the campsite of Lylis Glen itself, but out here, it was fairly isolated, and fairly peaceful. He couldn't attach any feeling to the place; Madeleine's tension was bouncing all over the place, but for some reason, Lee found himself quite relaxed.
Maybe it was because he knew- this time at least- nothing was going to happen.
"I don't have any baggage," he said after a few minutes of silence. "At least, none that I know of."
Never in the history of mankind had anyone ever made so pointless a statement.

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

You're engaged to me. Trust me, baggage, you will have.
However, Madeleine opted to edit on this a little.
"Yeah," she said, softly. "You're an Orchid student. You'll have plenty by the time we're done."
Ever the optimist, Shaun would tell her.

"Ever the optimist," he frowned, as they stepped through the leaves of the dark green glade. "Stop overreacting."
"I'm not overreacting; this guy's good, you know he is."
"It's evenly matched."
Madeleine sighed. In four days, Shaun had another underground fight staged - and though Shaun was exceptionally good (for God's sake, he was the next Baudelaire. Now those were odds), the odds for this particular fight... well... they weren't on Shaun's side. "You've seen the odds, Shaun."
"And what happened last time I was in a fight with those odds?"
She sighed. "You trashed him, but-"
"And the last time I was in a fight with odds worse than those?"
"You won, but-"
Shaun laughed, eyes mirthful. "Come on, calm down, you're getting more like Nana every day."
"Shut up!"

Madeleine shivered, looking up at the light coming down through the leaves. "Not to freak you out, or anything," she added, lightly.

[Kira & Lee Norris]

Lee smiled. "I meant from my family."
He'd more than enough baggage at Orchid Hill, already. Maddie didn't know it- and he never planned to tell her, because they never talked about it- but every time he forgot something... every time he thought something that just... didn't feel right, the strawberries bled through.
He never really thought about it, but sometimes it was there anyway, that image of Madeleine; still on the ground after the heat of battle. He could still feel those raw emotions as he'd sat beside her in her coma; they rose in a twisted black clump in his throat, and every time, it was harder to swallow.
Never mind those days they hadn't spent together. Never mind the days Kira and Lee's sides of their family hadn't spoken. Never mind all that, and leave the strawberries to rot, because this school year was a new school year.
But that was never really going to work... was it?
Still.
Never mind.
Never worry.
Never think.
Bloody hell, it's hot.
"Bloody hell, it's hot," Lee said, looking upwards.
A steady mist of perspiration was beginning to coat his skin. Maddie's small hand was hot and sticky in his grasp. His tongue was parched, and he was dreaming of Ireland.
It always rained in Ireland.

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

"Bloody hell, it is warm," Madeleine agreed, with an absentminded smile. "It's always warmer here than in the rest of the country; it never snows here. We never come here in the summer, because it's always too warm."
Too warm was right. It could reach almost thirty degrees in the summer, which, for this conutry was altogether too hot.
But the cold sweat and nausea that was sweeping over her had nothing to do with the weird heat. Every step she took here, every moment, created an echo of every word they'd spoken on their walk that night. She was trying so hard to avoid walking their steps again, walking deliberately to the side of the little trail, away from the centre.
Friggin' milk.
Every word was repeated in her head, every move recreated, every gesture made again. She could see it all, replayed in her mind's eye.
The worst was yet to come, though.
She blinked, and shook her head. Ignore it. "So, is it raining in Ireland at the minute?"

[Kira & Lee Norris]

"Aah... yes," Lee pulled a face. "My drizzly sense is tingling- it's all part of being Irish Man I'm afraid- I'm cursed to live the rest of my life knowing what the weather is like in Ireland- any second, any day of any year. Clearly."
... that was what the heat did to Lee.
It made him say stupid things, and be stupid, at stupid times.
God, this was beginning to get to him. If he were Jude, he'd know how to say the right thing to make everyone feel better.
But then again, even someone like Jude couldn't fix this.
Now his clothes were sticking to him back; and his hair's 'fluffiness' was beginning to die. Lee was far too pale to cope in the continent. The back of his neck was already burning.
He'd be all red come tomorrow morning.
They'd all tell him he looked like a letterbox, and then he'd have to explain that letterboxes were green in Dublin.
And he'd never hear the end of that one.

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

Madeleine chuckled, but it sounded strained, even to her ears.
"Well, I guess so. You know, I'm starting to think of Ireland as being wet and dark all the time. You obviously aren't used to sun," she said, nodding at the side of his neck, which was slightly pinker than the rest of him. "I take it you don't see much of it at home?"
It was always sunny here. Bright, and happy. For Madeleine, it didn't much suit the place - as much as she loved it. It just made people more sad when it was sunny. Because the sun was bright and happy, but everywhere they went, they found another memory of Shaun, and couldn't be bright and happy. Yet the sun felt no grief for him. It didn't affect the sun when Shaun was taken away.
The sun didn't have to retrace the fatal steps.
The sun didn't care.
But she ignored the sun, and frowned at Lee for a moment, registering the sunburn on his neck. Boys... how is it that they never saw the obvious?
"Lee, honey... you're burning a bit, but shouldn't you conjure up some suncream or something, to stop you burning more?"

[Kira & Lee Norris]

... oh.
And he'd heard women weren't logical.
Letting go of her hand- which by this stage was so sticky, it sort of peeled away from his own- Lee gave his right hand a shake, before reaching forwards into the air, and picturing the object he needed as hard as he could.
Factor 30 oughta do it...
The shiny white bottle materialised in his hand as he moved it backwards, and with relief, Lee set to covering his neck, face, arms and legs in it.
He felt guilty as they came to a slow stop. He was holding them up.
A little nervously, he glanced down the dry, dirt path.
How much further was it?

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

She waited impatiently for Lee to finish applying his suncream, tapping her foot against the root of a tree. Impatience? Why impatience, of all the things she could be feeling? Why did that become more prominent than the dread, than the fear, or all the other emotions flying about in her mind?
Anticipation was the worst part, she guessed. Just... just waiting. Waiting to see if it'd still be the same, if the thicket she'd hidden in was still there, if people still laid flowers at the roadside, if Shaun's blood was still spilled across the tarmac.
It was just around the corner, the road. Past the oak tree with the scarred trunk and through the gap between the holly bushes, then you'd be out on the main road, the shop being at the corner about 500 yards down the road.
They'd be there soon. Just... it'd be over with soon. Over and done with. And it would be bearable without the constant flashbacks, Shaun's laugh coming back to her. It would be bearable if she didn't know what was coming next.
When he'd finished, Madeleine took Lee's hand again, pretending her hand wasn't trembling, and leading him to the bend through the holly bushes to the road.

[Kira & Lee Norris]

"Don't you want... suncream?"
He held up the sticky bottle in his free hand. The white sticky trails down its back were already beginning to look yellow in the sunlight; could a blob of suncream dry out in intense heat? Maybe his suncream could. It didn't resemble any real brand. It was just a white, bland mixture in a white, bland bottle, with a little label on the side stating: 'Factor 30'.
He was really out of practice, and Professor Grey was gonna kick his ass for it.
He wondered what the point of all these distracting thoughts were; other than to distract him from the matter at hand. And then he wondered why he needed distracting... shouldn't he concentrate on Madeleine instead?
But that meant recognising the tremor in her hand; the empty blue in her eyes; and the pale, set jaw...
"Suncream, yes?"

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

Madeline shook her head, biting her lip.
Lee was clearly feeling the effects of this walk. Of course, he'd never been here before, it meant nothing to him, but he could see that it was putting strain on her, and it was making him feel awkward, and...
Madeleine sighed, rubbing her nose and trying to clear her thoughts a little bit. "Sorry, no thanks. We're almost on the main road soon, anyway."
Not long now. And maybe if... if she could do this, then feeling the loss wouldn't hurt so much in the future, would it? It couldn't. There was nothing worse than reliving it, and if she could relive it properly, it'd get out of her system.
Russ was going to friggin' kill her for this.
She smiled, a false gaudy smile, but it faltered quickly as she heard Shaun's words, and she shook her head automatically. "I'm sorry, Lee, I shouldn't have brought you with me, but... I don't think I can do this on my own, and I can't back out of it."
He was there. Again. For a second, her head pricked up as the brief gust of breeze washed over her, the feeling of Shaun's prescence overwhelming. But, as always, it only lasted a second - and he was gone. Again.

[Kira & Lee Norris]

Lee slowed to a stop, turning Madeleine to face him. It was one of those odd moments, when Madeleine's authority as Head of the Warriors, along her usual strong shield broke, and something of her inner self shone through. It was one of those moments when the difference in their heights was marked. As he gazed down at her, he couldn't help but wonder... did he always slouch like this, just to see her better? Yet even with the slouch, the top of her head didn't even brush his chin.
Had she always had to angle her elbow upwards so that her hand could reach his?
Had her hand always been so delicate in his?
"No-one expects you to do this on your own," he murmured, his awkwardness melting into confidence as he looked down into her eyes. "No-one, okay? So we'll go together, and on the way back, I'll fly you home. You don't have to do this twice."

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

Oh, God.
Madeleine swallowed, nodding, unable to thank him for that, for what he was doing. She just had to nod-
He was there again.
A quick intake of breath, and it was over again. Where was he?
Shaun was there. But now, he wasn’t – he wasn’t there. He wasn’t really ever there. But she could feel him – she could hear the soft echo of his laugh, the resonance of the footsteps on the bricks. Even more than back at camp, or in her grandmother’s, or…
But he wasn’t really there, even if she could feel him. He wasn’t going to
Madeleine bit her lip and looked up at Lee, nodding again. “Okay. O… okay, thank you. I… God, I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to be here.”
We shouldn’t have to be here.
I shouldn’t have to be here.

[Kira & Lee Norris]

Don't be sorry. It's not your fault.
"Yes, Maddie," he kissed her forehead. "Yes, I do."
Though I shouldn't.
Though we shouldn't.
Though you…
"C'mon," his hand tightened around hers, "there's no point putting it off anymore. We've just got to do this. I'll fly you home. I will. But first we've got to do this."
Gently, Lee stepped forward, and propelled her behind him, moving her in the right direction. He hated his job here. He hated doing this to her. She couldn't hide the fear in her eyes. She couldn't hide her agony.
But she had to. That was just the problem.
She had to.
"I know you need to do this, Maddie."

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

Don’t cry.
Don’t.
Even the lingering touch of his lips on her forehead weren’t enough to distract her. She inhaled quickly through her gritted teeth, nodding. “I know. I know, that’s why I didn’t get Jace to go. I want… no, I don’t want, but I want to be able to do this. It might… help, or something.”
Okay, just go. Just go. Stop dawdling, tear off the Band-Aid. Go.
So she did. Now, it was her moving forward through the sylvan path, not Lee, and she tried – she really did try – not to think about Shaun, not to think of that night, but just to think of it as Lylis Glen. It’s just Lylis Glen. It’s a forest.
You used to play here as a kid, remember? When you met Ryan Costa, you used to play hide and seek with him and sister here. The tree over there, that was always a good hiding place because of the branches…
That was better. That made it easier – it was a long time ago; just a random childhood memory that cropped for no reason sometimes. It didn’t bear any resemblance to what was running through the back of her mind right now, so that made it easier.
Sort of.
Until they got out onto the main road, when there were no other memories she could drag up to get her out of this.
Lost.
They’d been talking about Lost, hadn’t they? Yes, they had. They were talking about “the hatch”, the weird thing that had shown up in that season. Conspiracy theories surrounded it, and all that. All that crap about the Dharma. So, so, stupid.
But it was easy to block. She could keep that conversation out of her head by humming – tunelessly, of course – a bright tune; “Good Vibrations”.
For a while, anyway. Then she got to the part beside the bushes…
Shaun picked up his head, frowning, looking about suspiciously. "Maddie, get over there behind those trees."
"What?"
"Just go, eejit," he said, giving her a push in that direction. "And shut up for a second, okay?”
She’d went. Of course she’d went. And right now, where she was walking.
Where was the blood? Where was it?
Madeleine had to take another deep breath, and this time stopped walking. “It was… it was here. I need to stop for a minute.”

[Kira & Lee Norris]

He didn't doubt it. All the colour was completely gone from her face now. Her bloodless lips were pressed together, like she was trying not to cry.
Or maybe not to breathe.
Her skin shone a pale, sickly pallor; an off-white marble- and she stopped so suddenly, and stood so still, that Lee almost thought that if he moved her she would fall, frozen as she was now, and smash into a thousand pieces. The only movement about her was her hair; the soft dark curls- a heavy contrast to her granite skin- dancing with the softly blowing wind.
That same breeze cooled the beads of sweat that ran down the back of his neck.
He didn't want to move her again, but he had to.
"Maddie."
He didn't want her to smash; but he could picture it so clearly. Her elbow hit the ground first, and it was the first to crack. It started in slow motion- but soon, had you blinked, you would've missed it. And the crack spread, up her arm, across her shoulder and turned at an ugly, sharp angle downwarsds. Straight through her chest. Straight through her heart.
It tore her apart.
"Maddie. You have to."
Lee really did hate himself.