Post by Kira & Lee Norris on Jun 20, 2008 21:22:48 GMT
ooc: Do tell me if this counts in any way as god-moding. I haven't actually read it yet, so I can't tell...
“So, you see… I thought I should- I know I have to tell you… because… I mean… I’m not sure. You’re supposed to tell people these sorts of things, aren’t you?”
“Only if you want to.”
“Oh, don’t say that,” she winced. “If you’re going to say anything, don’t say that. No indefinites. No ifs, buts, ands or ors. Please.”
“What does she want us to say anyway?”
“We’re not people, she knows.”
“You’re close enough.”
“If we were a religion, you just spoke blasphemy.”
“I feel sick.”
“And what are we supposed to do about it? Stupid girl; we can’t cut the lines to your emotions.
“Not like us. No she isn’t.”
“Never has been.”
“Tell her so.”
“You’re human-”
“- and so bound to the weaknesses that make you so.”
Kira groaned, sinking down into her mattress. It sagged horribly; and for the millionth time Kira reminded herself to get it replaced. Her mind, she had realised recently, had the qualities of a partially permeable membrane. Only certain little grains of random information or imagination ever got through her thick skull; but everything else- i.e. bigger, more important things- could not enter, because they were just too… big. Stupid mem-brain.
Oh, god.
Biology.
This year, Kira felt that maybe, just maybe that if she buckled down, and did some hard work, maybe she could actually achieve something in the academic field. Lee had sure gone and done it. He’d gotten straight d@mn A’s again in that report of his. Aunt Vicky was proud, of course, as she was always proud. Kira, on the other hand, had gotten one A, seven B’s and two C’s. Her mother had told her in a letter that Kira never failed to reach her expectations. Her mother had then carried on to demand of her whether or not she’d broken up with “that boy, Darren” yet, and to remind her that sun cream was always a necessity at this time of year.
Naturally, Kira had not yet replied.
The lonely A, predictably, had come out of her Shadow Theory paper, and Kira knew for a fact that the only reason she’d actually passed was because a couple of shadows had strayed under her desk as she was writing, and whispered all the answers to her, even though she hadn’t wanted them.
The two C’s had come out in both her least favourite subjects: Maths, and Chemistry. That one was pretty predictable too. Anything with logic and shwoom- the molecules were moving once more out of her mind.
She hadn’t asked him, but she supposed that Arihant, despite only turning up just before the exams, had aced every one. Like Lee, Arihant was one of those impossible people, who should be in the Academics, but wasn’t.
“Why has she gone silent?”
“Thinking, we think.”
“Oh, thinking, like she’s never tried that before.”
“Shut up,” mumbled Kira, kneading her forehead with her knuckles. “Shut up a second- before I can think you've got to let me think.”
“See?”
With these exams over, Kira had been having more and more time alone to sit, think, and do nothing. And with this sitting, thinking, and doing nothing came the dreamy thoughts she held responsible for her rather average grades.
At first, they’d been pretty general; darting back and forth and round and round an array of topics: from Lee, to grass types, to sewing, to her mother, to school, to Spy duties, to grass types again, to coffee and tea drinkers, to alcoholism, and once more, the grass types thing elbowed its way in there again.
She just didn’t get why there were so many.
Today, the endlessly interesting and surprising topic of grass types had brought her to tree types, to the destruction of the rainforest, to the making of woodwind instruments, to violins, to Arihant.
And for some reason… this is where her brain had gotten stuck.
And this was why the shadows were now verbally abusing her.
“We can spy on him!”
"Stalking expedition, anyone?”
“Humans worry too much about being seen.”
“Has he got something to hide?”
“Kira?”
It was rare for any shadow to call her by her name.
“Yes?” she said warily.
“Why not bring your bothersome words to Lee?”
It was an oddly sensible suggestion.
“Lee!” Kira exclaimed happily, ignoring the protesting creak of her mattress as she sat up. “Yeah- Lee. He’ll know… oh.”
“What now?”
“Er…” Kira paused uncertainly, “it’s just… I don’t think… I want him to know.”
Most of the shadows hissed in outrage; several others wheezed with amusement.
“Oh, so this is how she does it!”
“You got a better suggestion, silly girl?”
“Stop bothering us!”
“Embarrassed?"
"Gosh, these humans."
"We never tire of your quaint ways.”
“Stop bothering you?” Kira growled, jumping upwards. “Stop bothering- oh that’s rich. That’s really rich.”
“We’re detecting sarcasm.”
“Rude.”
Kira decided to ignore that; falling backwards and rolling over onto her stomach, so that the tip of her nose touched her pillow. She wasn’t ever going to get peace from the d@mn things, was she? Nor was she ever going to be able to think.
Arihant.
Arihant.
They were real friends now. They talked a lot; whenever she saw him, she bothered him. And she thought… he seemed to be happy to see her, when he did. Ever since Valentine's, their friendship had been slowly, but surely, building. It was June now, not February- they'd had months. She had been seeing less of him recently though, because come mid-April, she’d poured herself into all the revision she could. Ever since she’d tried (And done nothing more than discover that her ability to be distracted had reached new levels. Once, she’d spent seven hours straight trying to make her tongue touch her nose, and failed.) to revise for the exams, her meetings and conversations with Arihant had become more and more infrequent, until, over the course of the exams, she’d disappeared into her dorm altogether, and hadn’t seen him since…
Until this morning.
It’d just been a brief glance. Kira had the feeling that he hadn’t even noticed her; he’d been eating his breakfast at the time, and Kira had just been leaving the Dining Hall. She’d gone to wave… and then… stopped.
And ran.
And been sitting in her dorm ever since.
Thing was… she should’ve seen this coming.
Whenever she spoke with Arihant, she’d always felt this kind of… warmth, just buzzing at the back of her throat, and colouring her cheeks pink. It was quick; and constant... It was vibrant, flowing waves of warmth that flooded through her veins and made her heartbeat skip forward faster. Every so often, he’d do something… maybe something nobody else would’ve noticed, but Kira did, and that's what mattered. It was like... when he turned his head to the side, loose curls had a wonderful way of tumbling forward over his forehead. Sometimes, when he was concentrating, he narrowed his wide brown eyes to slits; rendering them almost black. Every so often, he would touch his gloved hands self-consciously, as though he never quite forgot the restriction they represented was there. He didn’t smile as often as she would have liked, but when he did smile, he really meant it. His mouth would open, his teeth would shine, and real lines of laughter would crinkle at the corners of his eyes. His face was a lovely shape- she didn’t think it was… handsome, as such… but there was definitely something there that drew her to him.
There was something there that… kept reminding her how lucky she was, really, that he’d stayed.
With every exquisite little detail she noted, her heart’s fruitless efforts to remain at a constant pace were interrupted with a leap forward. That buzzing shot heat like chills down her spine. But Kira, when she felt it, had felt it, and had dismissed it.
She was only glad to see him.
She was just pleased to see a friendly face after a hard day.
It was the Common Room fire that was warming her blood.
She was hot after P.E.
She was only happy.
He was only smiling…
Today, however…
Today was different.
She’d been in the middle of the normal, swarming school crowd. She’d just finished eating with Ellie, Brian, Jude and Lee and was going to go for a walk. She turned, and spotted him; and his unmistakable crop of chocolate curls through the bobbing heads. He’d been eating. She’d only planned to wave.
Then, her stomach had lurched, and a rush of heat had clouded and claimed her vision.
Suddenly, adrenaline was whizzing through her veins like fireworks. The crowd had blurred into a kaleidoscope; and Kira had felt her heart wrench itself free and start somersaulting up and down her spine. Arihant sat as the only real thing against the backdrop of a heaving mass of colours, noises and faces. Voices whooshed past her, but they were only echoes- only far-off, distant sounds that evaded any distinct shape or form. People pushed past her, but their impatient shoves were just gentle nudges.
Forever passed in those five seconds.
And the second the initial shock of the buzz had faded, the panic had set in... and that was why she’d ran.
Super speed had become a real blessing.
After hours of pouring over the subject, Kira had realised that, actually, her dilemma was a perfectly simple one.
She had a crush on Arihant.
Except… well… it wasn’t simple at all.
Arihant was her friend. Her friend. That was all he was, or ever could be.
Arihant couldn’t touch people; something that pained her the more and more frequently she thought about it. Between them… that… it wouldn’t work. It just couldn’t.
Kira’s last relationship had failed horribly. Did she really want to go through all of that again, and jeopardise the careful relationship she’d worked so hard to build up with Arihant?
If it all went wrong, he might leave. She didn’t think she could stand it if he left.
Arihant mightn’t feel the same way. Arihant might not even care about her at all, and she was just being stupid over nothing.
Arihant was… Arihant.
And the so-called comfort of the shadows had never been less sympathetic.
And Kira hadn't felt so devastated in a long, long time.
This devastation was further twisted up with the fact that, no matter what she did, that stupid, deliriously wonderful buzzing wouldn’t stop. It was still there, hiccupping drunkenly on thoughts of Arihant, and his laugh, and his large, exquisite eyes, and-
Stop that.
“Argh.”
“It speaks!”
“About time, too!”
“Are you done fussing?”
“She’s not. Don’t we be silly.”
“The heart is encroaching upon her senses- ”
“- if it gets its way, it’ll never let her go.”
If Kira could have any wish right now- any wish at all- it would be one of two options:
a) She no longer felt this way about Arihant, and their friendship was restored to normality.
b) That she had the power to shut her shadows up.
It would be a hell of a tough choice to make.
“So, you see… I thought I should- I know I have to tell you… because… I mean… I’m not sure. You’re supposed to tell people these sorts of things, aren’t you?”
“Only if you want to.”
“Oh, don’t say that,” she winced. “If you’re going to say anything, don’t say that. No indefinites. No ifs, buts, ands or ors. Please.”
“What does she want us to say anyway?”
“We’re not people, she knows.”
“You’re close enough.”
“If we were a religion, you just spoke blasphemy.”
“I feel sick.”
“And what are we supposed to do about it? Stupid girl; we can’t cut the lines to your emotions.
“Not like us. No she isn’t.”
“Never has been.”
“Tell her so.”
“You’re human-”
“- and so bound to the weaknesses that make you so.”
Kira groaned, sinking down into her mattress. It sagged horribly; and for the millionth time Kira reminded herself to get it replaced. Her mind, she had realised recently, had the qualities of a partially permeable membrane. Only certain little grains of random information or imagination ever got through her thick skull; but everything else- i.e. bigger, more important things- could not enter, because they were just too… big. Stupid mem-brain.
Oh, god.
Biology.
This year, Kira felt that maybe, just maybe that if she buckled down, and did some hard work, maybe she could actually achieve something in the academic field. Lee had sure gone and done it. He’d gotten straight d@mn A’s again in that report of his. Aunt Vicky was proud, of course, as she was always proud. Kira, on the other hand, had gotten one A, seven B’s and two C’s. Her mother had told her in a letter that Kira never failed to reach her expectations. Her mother had then carried on to demand of her whether or not she’d broken up with “that boy, Darren” yet, and to remind her that sun cream was always a necessity at this time of year.
Naturally, Kira had not yet replied.
The lonely A, predictably, had come out of her Shadow Theory paper, and Kira knew for a fact that the only reason she’d actually passed was because a couple of shadows had strayed under her desk as she was writing, and whispered all the answers to her, even though she hadn’t wanted them.
The two C’s had come out in both her least favourite subjects: Maths, and Chemistry. That one was pretty predictable too. Anything with logic and shwoom- the molecules were moving once more out of her mind.
She hadn’t asked him, but she supposed that Arihant, despite only turning up just before the exams, had aced every one. Like Lee, Arihant was one of those impossible people, who should be in the Academics, but wasn’t.
“Why has she gone silent?”
“Thinking, we think.”
“Oh, thinking, like she’s never tried that before.”
“Shut up,” mumbled Kira, kneading her forehead with her knuckles. “Shut up a second- before I can think you've got to let me think.”
“See?”
With these exams over, Kira had been having more and more time alone to sit, think, and do nothing. And with this sitting, thinking, and doing nothing came the dreamy thoughts she held responsible for her rather average grades.
At first, they’d been pretty general; darting back and forth and round and round an array of topics: from Lee, to grass types, to sewing, to her mother, to school, to Spy duties, to grass types again, to coffee and tea drinkers, to alcoholism, and once more, the grass types thing elbowed its way in there again.
She just didn’t get why there were so many.
Today, the endlessly interesting and surprising topic of grass types had brought her to tree types, to the destruction of the rainforest, to the making of woodwind instruments, to violins, to Arihant.
And for some reason… this is where her brain had gotten stuck.
And this was why the shadows were now verbally abusing her.
“We can spy on him!”
"Stalking expedition, anyone?”
“Humans worry too much about being seen.”
“Has he got something to hide?”
“Kira?”
It was rare for any shadow to call her by her name.
“Yes?” she said warily.
“Why not bring your bothersome words to Lee?”
It was an oddly sensible suggestion.
“Lee!” Kira exclaimed happily, ignoring the protesting creak of her mattress as she sat up. “Yeah- Lee. He’ll know… oh.”
“What now?”
“Er…” Kira paused uncertainly, “it’s just… I don’t think… I want him to know.”
Most of the shadows hissed in outrage; several others wheezed with amusement.
“Oh, so this is how she does it!”
“You got a better suggestion, silly girl?”
“Stop bothering us!”
“Embarrassed?"
"Gosh, these humans."
"We never tire of your quaint ways.”
“Stop bothering you?” Kira growled, jumping upwards. “Stop bothering- oh that’s rich. That’s really rich.”
“We’re detecting sarcasm.”
“Rude.”
Kira decided to ignore that; falling backwards and rolling over onto her stomach, so that the tip of her nose touched her pillow. She wasn’t ever going to get peace from the d@mn things, was she? Nor was she ever going to be able to think.
Arihant.
Arihant.
They were real friends now. They talked a lot; whenever she saw him, she bothered him. And she thought… he seemed to be happy to see her, when he did. Ever since Valentine's, their friendship had been slowly, but surely, building. It was June now, not February- they'd had months. She had been seeing less of him recently though, because come mid-April, she’d poured herself into all the revision she could. Ever since she’d tried (And done nothing more than discover that her ability to be distracted had reached new levels. Once, she’d spent seven hours straight trying to make her tongue touch her nose, and failed.) to revise for the exams, her meetings and conversations with Arihant had become more and more infrequent, until, over the course of the exams, she’d disappeared into her dorm altogether, and hadn’t seen him since…
Until this morning.
It’d just been a brief glance. Kira had the feeling that he hadn’t even noticed her; he’d been eating his breakfast at the time, and Kira had just been leaving the Dining Hall. She’d gone to wave… and then… stopped.
And ran.
And been sitting in her dorm ever since.
Thing was… she should’ve seen this coming.
Whenever she spoke with Arihant, she’d always felt this kind of… warmth, just buzzing at the back of her throat, and colouring her cheeks pink. It was quick; and constant... It was vibrant, flowing waves of warmth that flooded through her veins and made her heartbeat skip forward faster. Every so often, he’d do something… maybe something nobody else would’ve noticed, but Kira did, and that's what mattered. It was like... when he turned his head to the side, loose curls had a wonderful way of tumbling forward over his forehead. Sometimes, when he was concentrating, he narrowed his wide brown eyes to slits; rendering them almost black. Every so often, he would touch his gloved hands self-consciously, as though he never quite forgot the restriction they represented was there. He didn’t smile as often as she would have liked, but when he did smile, he really meant it. His mouth would open, his teeth would shine, and real lines of laughter would crinkle at the corners of his eyes. His face was a lovely shape- she didn’t think it was… handsome, as such… but there was definitely something there that drew her to him.
There was something there that… kept reminding her how lucky she was, really, that he’d stayed.
With every exquisite little detail she noted, her heart’s fruitless efforts to remain at a constant pace were interrupted with a leap forward. That buzzing shot heat like chills down her spine. But Kira, when she felt it, had felt it, and had dismissed it.
She was only glad to see him.
She was just pleased to see a friendly face after a hard day.
It was the Common Room fire that was warming her blood.
She was hot after P.E.
She was only happy.
He was only smiling…
Today, however…
Today was different.
She’d been in the middle of the normal, swarming school crowd. She’d just finished eating with Ellie, Brian, Jude and Lee and was going to go for a walk. She turned, and spotted him; and his unmistakable crop of chocolate curls through the bobbing heads. He’d been eating. She’d only planned to wave.
Then, her stomach had lurched, and a rush of heat had clouded and claimed her vision.
Suddenly, adrenaline was whizzing through her veins like fireworks. The crowd had blurred into a kaleidoscope; and Kira had felt her heart wrench itself free and start somersaulting up and down her spine. Arihant sat as the only real thing against the backdrop of a heaving mass of colours, noises and faces. Voices whooshed past her, but they were only echoes- only far-off, distant sounds that evaded any distinct shape or form. People pushed past her, but their impatient shoves were just gentle nudges.
Forever passed in those five seconds.
And the second the initial shock of the buzz had faded, the panic had set in... and that was why she’d ran.
Super speed had become a real blessing.
After hours of pouring over the subject, Kira had realised that, actually, her dilemma was a perfectly simple one.
She had a crush on Arihant.
Except… well… it wasn’t simple at all.
Arihant was her friend. Her friend. That was all he was, or ever could be.
Arihant couldn’t touch people; something that pained her the more and more frequently she thought about it. Between them… that… it wouldn’t work. It just couldn’t.
Kira’s last relationship had failed horribly. Did she really want to go through all of that again, and jeopardise the careful relationship she’d worked so hard to build up with Arihant?
If it all went wrong, he might leave. She didn’t think she could stand it if he left.
Arihant mightn’t feel the same way. Arihant might not even care about her at all, and she was just being stupid over nothing.
Arihant was… Arihant.
And the so-called comfort of the shadows had never been less sympathetic.
And Kira hadn't felt so devastated in a long, long time.
This devastation was further twisted up with the fact that, no matter what she did, that stupid, deliriously wonderful buzzing wouldn’t stop. It was still there, hiccupping drunkenly on thoughts of Arihant, and his laugh, and his large, exquisite eyes, and-
Stop that.
“Argh.”
“It speaks!”
“About time, too!”
“Are you done fussing?”
“She’s not. Don’t we be silly.”
“The heart is encroaching upon her senses- ”
“- if it gets its way, it’ll never let her go.”
If Kira could have any wish right now- any wish at all- it would be one of two options:
a) She no longer felt this way about Arihant, and their friendship was restored to normality.
b) That she had the power to shut her shadows up.
It would be a hell of a tough choice to make.
