Making Fighters Out of Lovers

[Jude Dorrian]

OOC: This is set immediately after 'My Brother, My Father', because believe it or not, that post actually had a purpose!

He didn't know where Tameron had gone, but he could guess.
There were two places she could've gone to- one containing people, and one where she could be completely on her own for a few hours. The first place was her dorm, which her friends, whom Tameron liked to make a much ado about nothing with in a constant stream of girl-gossipy babble. It would keep her occupied, and it would give her a proper reason to laugh. The second place was the Glass Lake; somewhere not only Tameron went to mull over things for a bit. Jude had been there himself for the same reason more than once in his years at Orchid, and he didn't doubt that he would return.
He hadn't tried to follow her, 'cause he knew that would've just made her angry.
Instead, Jude had decided to focus on what kept him happy. He didn't know why... what Tameron had said bothered him so much, but like her, he was self-trained in the art allowing other people to help him forget.
The great thing about Ailith was that when he was with her, he didn't have to try to forget. He just... did.
He found her easily enough; sitting alone at a table towards the back of the Common Room. There were a few books spread in front of her, and Jude felt a pang of sympathy. Schoolwork. Even in June, they were giving her schoolwork. Most of his teachers had stopped trying to make them try, and had just been letting them play with magic in class instead.
God... poor Ailith.
He slid down into the chair opposite her, smiling as kindly as he could.
"Hey," he said softly, "how's it going?"

[Ailith Rayner]

Ailith sat in the Common Room at a table by herself, maths splayed out in front of her and an English essay set neatly, unfinished, to one side. Her pencil was in her still right hand while the other cradled her forehead as she stared out of the window dead ahead. She felt bitter, and she knew it. Thing was, this time, she couldn’t get out of it. If she had only avoided Battle Training she could have coped. But she never expected to feel like this. It wasn’t that Madeline was acting any different towards Ailith, quite the contrary, she was just the same. But that was it! Ailith was the acted the same as well but it should have been different. They’d killed a woman! They had taken a life that had more to give. They could’ve changed Orla and her views but she never got the chance. They never let her have the chance. Ailith had promised herself and her father that she’d never end a life unless the situation absolutely needed it to save more or more worthy lives and even then she would end her own rather than another’s.
That was five months ago and with exams she didn’t get time to think about it. But now things had slowed, not stopped (which was another major disappointment and didn’t help Ailith’s mood), she started to think about it again. How could she have done that? After all Ailith tried to do, Madeleine still lost control. Well maybe that was just it. Ailith tried. Yeah and look at what happened. Ailith had unlocked her past so that she could allow Madeleine to be tortured and tryusing her as a distraction for Orla so Ailith could try and immobilise her. What an idiot she was for thinking that could possibly have worked. Ailith caused a good friend an enormous amount of pain which was the last thing Madeleine needed was more pain. And Ailith had stood and allowed it to happen without mercy.
"Hey," a gentle voice invaded her thoughts, "how's it going?"
Ailith inhaled deeply trying to raise herself from her thoughts enough to answer.
“OK.” Ailith replied curtly.

[Jude Dorrian]

No, he didn't believe that.
It was rare that anybody ever said something was, "okay", and meant it. The schoolwork must be taking a lot out of her- a lot more than she was letting on. When Jude usually saw her, the first thing he noticed was her smile, because it just made her seem all the brighter, and all the better. She seemed sort of incomplete when she wasn't smiling.
It was just another on a very long list of reasons for him to resent the education system.
"What are you doing, then?" Jude's eyes scanned the table, and answered his question for himself. "Oh. Maths."
His brain's arch nemesis.
"And English?"
Whoa. Maths had competition on the battlefield.
"Can't say I envy y'all," Jude chuckled lightly, "want any help?"
Although, by his reckoning, both categories were well out of his mind's reach. Ailith always gave him the impression she was better at this crap than him. He didn't think he'd be much help at all.
But maybe he could make her smile.
Did that count as being helpful?

[Ailith Rayner]

Ailith looked down at her “work” as Jude babbled away in his bright and breezy tones. For some reason, Jude was the last person Ailith wanted around her right now. She was far from in the mood to fake a smile. Even sarcastic happiness was beyond her disposition.
“…want any help?” Jude’s upwards inflection told Ailith she was being asked a question.
“No thanks.” She replied as bluntly as she had greeted him. She heard herself back and regretted her tone. It wasn’t as if it was his fault she was in the state she was. She raised her eyes but couldn’t meet his and instead glanced at his mouth. “Sorry. Just… leave me alone OK?” she added but again without any feeling.

[Jude Dorrian]

... oh.
Well, that wasn't quite the result he was looking for.
Feeling vaguely like a hurt puppy who'd just been kicked, Jude bowed his head meekly, listening as she tried to apologize for being sharp with him.
"Sorry. Just… leave me alone OK?"
Goddammit. He should've thought about this. What was he doing, barging over here and getting in her way? She was working.
But she usually accepted his help when she was working, didn't she? He was certain of it. And he accepted hers. She was far better at maths than him. When he couldn't get ahold of Macy, Ailith helped him. They'd become sort of like a team, in that sense.
Jude felt awkward, sitting there in silence. He didn't like to move; but he felt stupid for staying. He felt like a kid who'd put his shoes on the wrong feet, but hadn't realized, and now couldn't understand why he was tripping up.
Just like with Tameron.
Jude began to feel a little frustrated with himself. What was he doing wrong?
"Well, I can help," Jude persisted, throwing caution to the wind, and leaning over for her English. "I don't mind, I- oh."
In his eagerness, he'd reached a little too wildly, and accidentally knocked one of her files off the desk. Flushing, Jude snatched his arm back, and ducked under the table, trying to gather the pages together.
But they'd exploded across the Common Room, and people were starting to stare.

[Ailith Rayner]

"Well, I can help," Jude chirped. Ailith raised her head again to protest but was interrupted, "I don't mind," Ailith watched as Jude flung out his arm and she watched as her file, the largest of the two she had on the desk, was shoved off the edge open-side down. She made a start to lunge for it but realising it was a goner planted her elbows on the table and placed her face in her hands and began to count to ten.
"I- oh."
One, CRASH-fissle.
Two, it'll be ok.
Three, it was an accident.
Four, no need to get angry.
Five he was only trying to help.
Six, instead he's given me about a good half hour of sorting to do.
Seven, which I will have to start later after I do my maths and my english.
Eight, why the hell does file paper feel the need to make a break for it.
Nine, bloody lever-arch files a traitor.
Ten, it's supposed to keep the paper together isn't it? Is that not the BLOODY IDEA OF A FILE IN THE FIRST PLACE!?
Ailith raised her head and looked over at the site of devastation. And at Jude, frantically trying to gather paper and shoving it in. In. All. The. Wrong. Places.
"Jude just leave it." She rose from her chair and hunkered down beside him snatching the paper and the file from him before he could help anymore and cause more havoc.

[Jude Dorrian]

"Jude, just leave it."
Aw... God.
She looked mad, and he couldn't blame her.
His fist tightened around a loose sheet of paper he was holding, and then with a short nod, he let it unroll. The page contained some kind of comprehension about 'Dubliners'. Wasn't that a book by James Joyce? He scanned his mind, trying to remember if they'd done it in class, and whether or not he could help her with some of the answers.
... There had definitely been something to do with someone called Eveline, and a ship.
And sexual innuendo.
There had definitely been some form of euphenism in there- right?
Or... wait. Had that been with Polly?
Goddammit!
He got slowly to his feet, and smoothed out the page on the table for her. He looked at her a little tentatively, one of his teeth kneading the inside of his cheek. Jude wanted to apologize, but the words didn't sound right in his head. He felt bad, and felt mad for feeling bad.
He'd only been trying to help.
"Right, so... y'all don't need... anything?"

[Ailith Rayner]

Ailith rammed the paper into the relevant sections of the file as Jude asked, "Right, so... y'all don't need... anything?"
Ailith stood, looked at Jude, "No." BAM! She dumped the file on the desk. "I don't."
Closure. Or at least it would have been...
Jude shifted, "Right, well... I was only trying to help."
"I know Jude, but right now I would be better without it." Ailith was getting really annoyed now and spoke sharply. All she wanted was to be left alone to do her work and think things over. Instead she got more work and an over-helpful boyfriend who would not take the hint and fff-go away for a few hours and give her peace.

[Jude Dorrian]

"Yeah. Okay. It's just..."
It's just...
Afterwards, he'd wondered why- really- he hadn't just left it it with, 'okay,' and been gone and done with it. Overall, the whole thing never really effected them. It wasn't the type of thing to effect them. But it still created a memory. It still created a thought which every so often would sneak up and smack him in the face and remind him that things could still go wrong.
This time, he blamed himself. It was him- not her. She'd told him where she stood. He'd been persistant, and she'd been understandably frustrated.
In the end, no matter what way you look at it, Jude had had no right to lose his temper.
But Tameron had set him off, and he'd needed an outlet. He supposed... if he couldn't get that outlet by helping her, he'd gotten it another way- by arguing. It wasn't smart. He knew that.
He always had.
But sometimes- just sometimes- he felt himself crack a little around the edges.
"It's just..." he repeated vaguely, "that..."
Then, his eyes snapped upwards, and the frustration with himself came out of his mouth in an angry hiss:
"Goddamit- y'all haven't even given me a chance!"

[Ailith Rayner]

Ailith was exasperated, "A chance to do what Jude?!" She yelled and flung out an arm, "Wreck all my stuff? Mess up my file?"
Then it clicked. Jude had just gotten angry with her. Jude was angry with her. The shock made her arm drop and she, still frowning furiously, softened her eyes. She didn't want this, she didn't want anymore anger or fighting and especially not from or with Jude. And then she took a look at herself, how short she'd been with him for no reason.
She narowed her eyes and hissed back at Jude, "See that bloody big heart of yours?" Ailith took a step towards him to jab a finger into his chest. "Do you see that overwelming kindness and your unbelievably sweet nature?" She took another step towards him, her now fake angry face close to his and whispered harshly, "You can take it," She paused for dramatic effect staring into his slate grey eyes. "and I hope you never change."
A smile creeped in and she half wrinkled her nose to stop it. It didn't work. She let out a quiet laugh.

[Jude Dorrian]

It'd had only lasted for a few seconds before his temper had clicked back into place, and he actually made sense of what was being said to him.
For a moment, he'd felt guilty.
Then she'd wrinkled her nose.
And he'd started laughing too.
"Sorry," he said finally, kissing her forehead lightly, "y'know, for the whole 'big heart' thing. I've always been a sucker."
Funny, how she could do that. If it was anyone else, the whole stupid thing could've spiralled out of control. For once, Jude wasn't being careful, and for once, he was losing it.
But she'd stopped him.
With her nose.
That was insane.
Happy to be forgiven, and to have offered an apology of his own, Jude bowed his head meekly. "We're really bad at fighting."

[Ailith Rayner]

Ailith closed her eyes when Jude kissed her forehead, "y'know, for the whole 'big heart' thing. I've always been a sucker." He said.
Ailith laughed. There. Her world was at peace. How could she ever feel anger or emptiness when she knew she had this. Jude's 'big heart' filled her own and she knew, no matter what she did or where she went, this moment would be with her. Where there'd disruption and chaos there'd always be something amazing at the other side. Sometimes all you need is a shock to see that. Then it's easy.
"We're really bad at fighting." Jude said softly.
Ailith laughed gently, "We really are." She stood on tiptoe to drape her arms on his shoulders and she nosed under his chin to lift his head, "Let's not do that again." She kissed him quickly on the lips. "Now, piss off."