The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

The fire spat out a crimson spark, and Madeleine’s eyes started open.
“Good evening.”
She straightened up, blinking at the sudden light of the fire.
Russ watched her lazily, his eyes touched with amusement. “Tired?”
Madeleine couldn’t help but yawn. “How long have I been asleep for?”
“You were out before I got here.”
Ugh…
For some reason, insomnia had taken over Madeleine for the past few days. Every night she’d go to bed, and every night, she hadn’t been able to sleep – she wasn’t sure what had happened, but there was always something unidentifiable at the back of her mind, a little impulse that kept pushing the rest of her brain into motion, rendering her incapable of sleep. Her mind had been a whirlpool of scattered thoughts, and no matter how hard she’d tried to sleep for the last three days, it just hadn’t worked.
So obviously, she’d been tired… but to fall asleep…
The worst bit was that it wasn’t even late.
“I’ve had a bit of trouble sleeping recently.”
“I guessed,” Russ shrugged.
Maybe it was a subconscious part of Madeleine refusing to sleep, in case she had the dream that Russ had unwittingly unblocked in her memory. That could be it, though Madeleine could cope with a nightmare or two. She knew she could, so it wouldn’t be that.
Glancing over at the fireplace, Madeleine spotted the coffee-and-chocolate coloured stripes of Mocha, and smiled. Mocha was easily coaxed over, and in less than a minute, was lying lazily by Madeleine as she stroked her soft fur.
“I still can’t believe you named your cat after a type of coffee,” Russ muttered, with a smirk. He was reclining idly on an armchair, a discarded homework thrown on the floor in front of him. “I mean, of all the things…”
Madeleine smiled, scratching behind the cat’s ears. “Well, it’s original, anyway.”
“Can’t wait to see what she and Jake make of each other,” he said, cheekily.
She shook her head. “If your dog eats my cat…”
“Nah, he won’t. He doesn’t like the taste.”
Madeleine laughed, adjusting her position on the couch so that she was lying down and facing Russ, trying hard to combat her exhaustion. “What homework is that you’re supposed to be doing?”
“How Not To Blow Yourself Up.”
“Useful.”
He snorted. “Because I haven’t been doing that for years.”
“Well, it’s always good to remind yourself,” Madeleine shrugged.
“Right.”
For all his bravado, Madeleine knew that Russ didn’t like it here as much as he let on – and he didn’t make it any secret that he didn’t love it. Being trapped inside a building was getting to him, and he’d been suffering from headaches for the past few days, and in a few days, Madeleine knew his temper was going to snap.
There was a silence, in which Russ picked up his homework and Madeleine had to struggle to keep her eyes open (what a role reversal), her fingers automatically stroking Mocha. She focused on the fire in the grate, watching the flames leap, crackle and spit in a spectrum of scarlet, amber and gold, florescent sparks and dull hazes above the flames, charcoal smoke drifting up the chimney…

A few minutes of silence and procrastination later, Russ looked up from the godforsaken combustion sheet, and saw that Madel had drifted off.
And for the first time he’d ever seen, she was sleeping silently.
Christ, that was weird.
Usually, when Madeleine slept in front of him (and after Shaun's death, she slept outside a lot, not being able to bear being inside the trailer), Russ was uptight and tense, watching her for the slightest movement, listening for the slightest whimper. She used to have nightmares, see. Really bad nightmares. Or maybe ‘flashbacks’ was the best word to use, except could you use the word flashback if you were asleep?
Oh, for the love of God, Russ, shut the frigg up.
The door to the common room from the main corridor opened, and Russ’s eyes looked up to see who it was.
Hey, it was Madeleine’s fiancé… Lee, that was it. Shít, he really needed to start remembering things like that.
He smirked suddenly, realising that, as yet, he hadn’t had a chance to speak to Lee yet: namely, to embarrass Madel by making the Dungeons and Dragons comment. He’d meant it the first time, and the reaction was just so dámn good…
Raising a hand in greeting to Lee, he wondered if he should chuck something at Madel and wake her up... but seeing her sleep in silence for the first time ever, decided against it.

[Kira & Lee Norris]

This corridor needed sweeping.
Badly.
"It's like snow," Jude smirked slightly, scuffing his shoes across the smooth surface.
Lee smirked back. "Lovely."
"Yeah," Jude gave the dusty ground a good kick, causing a cloud of it to fly up from the ground. "Dirt and dead human skin tissue never really did it for me either."
Lee's fingers moved slightly, a strange urge overtaking them to conjure up some kind of hoover, but he suppressed the urge. It was more than a little weird; and anyway, Jude had enough to tease him about by now.
There was a brief moment of silence, where Jude occupied himself with tracing shapes across the dusty floor, before he bored himself, and looked back up at Lee.
"Nothing wrong with looking, Lee."
"Shut up," Lee felt himself redden immediately.
Jude sighed, straightening up as they continued walking down the corridor. "I'm just saying... y'all can look- or has Maddox really got that tight a rein on you?"
Lee chose to ignore him, but the memory was painfully imprinted on his mind already. Jude had suggested to Jack and Lee that they all go down to the Knight Pub for a bit of a laugh, but Jack had declined... Lee sorta wished he had now too.
"She's married," Jude continued, his eyes still twinkling with a blue, boyish mischief. "But she was looking."
The taste of alcohol was still fresh on Lee's tongue. He hadn't expected one glass to make him lose his head like that. Sure, he'd seen his dad get drunk a few times, under the influence of just a few glasses, but he'd never expected one- no, half of one, he'd spat most of it out by laughing- to cause that kind of reaction in him.
"Tell you what," Jude said kindly, as they reached the Common Room door.
Lee looked at him glumly. "What?"
Jude held out his hand. "Cowboy's honour- I shall never breathe another word of this to anyone- it can remain our... lil' secret. We ain't gonna have to tell anybody about it."
An enormous bubble of relief swelled inside of Lee. "Really?"
"Can't make those people forget what they saw, of course," Jude said thoughtfully, "but, yeah, really. Maddox especially."
Lee clapped his friend's hand with an upsurge of gratitude for his friend. He would never have received such mercy from Jack.
"After you, then," Jude nodded, and Lee pushed the door open into the Common Room...
And was surprised to see Russ waving at him from across it. Jude entered behind, and catching sight of Russ, he waved back.
"Hey, look at the Sleeping Beauty," chuckled Jude in Lee's ear.
Jude was only joking, but the sight of Maddie lying beside the fireplace, her eyes closed and a gentle frown on her lips really was... beautiful. His heart swelled with warmth as he crossed the room to her side; the back of his hand automatically caressing the curls that fell over her forehead. Determined not to be shy in front of Russ, Lee leaned over her, and placed a bold kiss on her cheek.
"How long has she been asleep for?" he asked Russ.

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

“A few minutes, just,” Russ said, glancing back at his sleeping cousin. “She was out for a while earlier, so I’d just let her sleep.”
Out like a light. They’d been quiet for 2 minutes, and she’d drifted off. It made a change. Before, she’d never sleep if she could help it. ‘Course, it didn’t work like that, and when she did fall asleep, it wasn’t really worth the trouble. Hour, two hours maximum before the flashbacks kicked in.
His eyes shifted to the cat, who had opened its eyes as soon as Lee approached, seeming to narrow them. Smirking, he relaxed back in the chair. For being so small, that cat housed a hell of a lot of venom. Even Jake was terrified of it, but Russ wasn't going to admit that his dog was a wuss. And of course, Madel was completely blind to the fact that her kitten had anger management problems. He had pointed it out, but she'd waved it away with a "Oh, you just don't like cats because you're allergic and they make you cry."
So when it bit the kids and gave them rabies, she was in for a hell of a shock.
As if Mocha (that was still of a "what the hell?!" choice of name) had heard him, she twisted her evil little fluffball head towards him, and Russ could have sworn she bared her fangs at him.
"She said she'd had some trouble sleeping," he added, shrugging, but watching Lee carefully to see how much he knew.

[Kira & Lee Norris]

ooc: Oh, the excitement...

Lee wished Russ wouldn't keep looking at him like that. Despite Russ' 'casual' shrug, Lee wasn't stupid. He knew he was being scrutinised, and hated the feeling. Russ had this way of looking at him- kind of like Jack used to look at him, whenever he only knew him by his reputation as a chess champ- and in those eyes was a set vision. Russ didn't see Lee; he saw an impression- and it wasn't a good one either. Lee was... different.
He wasn't like those other guys Maddie used to date.
He wasn't like Russ.
And now, Russ was going to try and test him. Instinct warned him that Russ wanted to see what kind of degree of accuracy his clouded vision of Lee contained- and that if Lee didn't pass... well, it sure as heck wouldn't bode well for any kind of friendship Lee wanted with Russ.
But he was already starting to lose.
What was important about what Russ had just said?
Jude seemed to have picked up on something too. Heading over to them both, Jude took a good long look at the peaceful Maddie.
"She looks fine now. Nothing like when y'all were having," Jude smirked slightly, "trouble. You spent most of your time thrashing."
"As long as she's okay now," Lee replied calmly, smiling weakly back.

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

"As long as she's okay now."
Okay? Christ Almighty. Madeleine’s acting skills must have improved by miles since the last time they’d spoken, that day on the beach. If Madel was ‘okay’, he bloody well didn’t want to see what ‘screwed up’ looked like!
And when Jude said ‘trouble’ – what did he-?
Oh, right – Stephen had mentioned that. Lee had had nightmares before his memory got wiped.
Oh, balls. Maybe he should clear that up…
“Not those kind of nightmares,” he said, slightly gruffly. “They’re just flashbacks. I’m surprised they don’t happen more often, to be honest.”
No lie there. She’d said… what was it? They’d gotten better, then worse again at Christmas – and she hadn’t said whether they’d been any fewer since then. Obviously if she was having nightmares, Lee was hardly going to overhear. Not with the enforced segration rule, anyway. Though, somehow, Russ doubted Madel and Lee were like that.
Another thing to wind her up with.
But come on, there were three other people in Madel’s dorm. How did no one pick up on this?
Jesus. Lee really had no idea what the hell he was letting himself in for, did he?

[Kira & Lee Norris]

Jude didn't even looked fazed, but Lee was completely thrown off for a couple of seconds. Flashbacks? What the hell did that even mean?
Then, just as quickly, he felt a little rush of annoyance with Russ. Why was there an assumption on his part that Lee automatically- as fiance- had to know every other effing detail of Madeleine's life before him? If these 'flashbacks' were in any way important, Maddie would have a good reason for not telling him about them. And if not...
Well, then Russ was just being a prick.
"Oh, right, then," Lee said blandly; repressing all of the slightly more... bitter responses he could've shot in Russ' direction. "But... you know, Russ. She is okay. Now."

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

Right, well, maybe.
When she was with Lee, she was okay. More than okay. She was happy and besotted and all the things she should be. When Madeleine was in battle training, she was okay. She was Madeleine again. But those times didn't really worry Russ, because obviously she was just... ignoring it, or forgetting it. It was the nightmares that were concerning Russ, because to his mind, they meant that she was not bloody okay.
Or maybe he was just paranoid.
But Lee was starting to sound a bit strained, so Russ probably shouldn't push it...
Screw it.
"Yeah, well, right now, she seems so. I think it was my fault, I brought up Shaun and I think I might have... accidentally dragged up some shít."

[Kira & Lee Norris]

... hmm. Bit thick, this guy, wasn't he?
Unless- that was- he didn't do it 'accidentally'.
"Well," Lee said carefully, "then I'm not surprised if she's having... flashbacks."
He was uncomfortably, and acutely aware that the careless, uninterested expression on Jude's face as his friend stared into the leaping flames in the grate was 100% fake. Jude was far too perceptive for his own good- and those unintentionally eaves-dropping ears often led him to discover things that- for the most part- he could've lived a long, and happy lifetime without knowing.
"Still," Lee felt himself persist, if only to fill the ugly silence spreading between them, "she looks... fine now."

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

Russ studied Jude through his jet eyes for a moment. He didn't seem to be listening, but Russ knew bloody well that every word would be absorbed into his mind. He'd already got the impression that Jude was more perceptive than most people.
Would Madel mind if Jude heard about this? If she hadn't told Lee, it probably wouldn't be fair to tell Jude. Then again, she'd mentioned a heart-to-heart with him at Christmas, but still...
Whatever. It didn't matter. Russ thought that Lee deserved to know, and he probably wouldn't get a chance to tell him after this. And hell, Jude probably wasn't likely to mention it. He seemed a decent guy, and probably knew when to keep his mouth shut.
"Did she tell you about that crap with Shaun?" he asked, stretching back and ignoring the fact that Lee was trying to put some closure on the topic. And ignoring that he knew what the answer was just fine.

[Kira & Lee Norris]

What crap? That he died, or that she spoke with him via a coma, or that... well, he couldn't say he knew much more than that, but that was crap enough to begin with. Lee sank down on the sofa next to Maddie's, his eyes trailing the thick tendrils of her hair instead of watching her resemblance brooding at him from the opposite seat.
"Which bit?" he said finally.
Jude's head moved ever so slightly towards them.

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

Russ smirked slightly at that. Which bit indeed?
"How he died."
He'd know some of it, anyway. Knowing what Madeleine was like, anyway. She was always one to give into guilt, especially when it came to keeping secrets. And there was no way she wouldn't have told him that much, anyway.
It was the other bit that Russ wanted to tell Lee about. The bit that only he, Madel, and the officers in charge of the investigation knew.
And even at that, he was pretty sure she was keeping some things hidden away from all of them. And that wasn't bloody fair on anyone, was it?

[Kira & Lee Norris]

How he died.
"You mean the murder," Lee said gruffly. Why was that? Any sensitive issue, and immediately, his voice dropped an octave and became more of a gravelly growl than anything else.
So she was getting flashbacks of the murder... which meant...
Did she witness it?
Lee's eyes flickered towards Russ' gleaming black stare.
"I think I should go to bed, guys," came Jude's careful response. "I'm beat. I'll see you two tomorrow... that is," he smiled softly as he turned away, "if I'm not killed by revision first."
It wasn't until Jude's footsteps had faded away completely from the outside hall before Lee turned properly towards Russ.
"What are you talking about Russ?"
Blunt; direct; a straight jump to it. It was a moment of weakness on Lee's part; by admitting his own ignorance; yet it was also a moment to win by. For all he knew, Russ had no new information at all, and Lee was just being taken for a wild ride.

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

Russ admitted it; Jude’s buggering off made things a fair bit easier for him now.
Still, before he answered Lee, his eyes first travelled to his sleeping cousin – checking that she was that, asleep, and that she couldn’t overhear and kill him for this later.
“I’m talking about the murder,” he said, bluntly. “I don’t think Madel’s told you the details, for some reason like she can’t face talking about it, or she doesn’t want to worry you – and both of those are fair enough, but if she’s having nightmares, I think it’s about bloody time you knew. And it’s probably easier hearing it from me rather than her parents. On that topic, it might explain why her mum is having problems accepting your engagement.”
Problems? Christ. Brilliantly understated, Russ.
But it looked like Lee knew f*ck all about this whole set up, and if Russ was honest, he wasn't happy about that in the slightest. Madeleine may need a bit of a bollicking about this later.

[Kira & Lee Norris]

"I know why her mum's pissed off with me," Lee said quickly, feeling his own language deteriorate by the second at every cuss word that fell from Russ lips. "She thinks we're too young- and she's worried that we're so... well, that we've moved so fast. She knows that my involvement with Madeleine- and her with me- makes us both vulnerable targets for the enemy. We are each others' weakness. We... er... yeah," he lost his thread a little at that point, "she doesn't want to lose another child, is all."
It felt like a rambling answer, but it was the best he could come up with right now.
It was roughly there... right?
He wanted to prove to Russ that he wasn't completely ignorant.

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

Russ nodded. "Well yeah, that's a lot of it, but it's not all."
That was what Madeleine's mum was saying. And yeah, that was right. Losing Madeleine was Rhiannon's biggest fear right now, and it didn't help that from the sounds of things, danger was just following her about everywhere.
Rhiannon had probably expressed this to Madel, and Madel believed it. It's not that it wasn't true, 'cause it was, it was just that Russ had overheard Rhiannon talking to his mum...
"I don't know if you know that Madel saw Shaun being murdered," he said, his eyes flicking to Lee to watch for a reaction. "But she did, and because she hasn't had a breakdown or cried or - well anything emotional about it, everyone reckons that she's still in shock. Like, she hasn't accepted it. Her mum's pretty sure she's accepted it, but she thinks... I dunno, that Madeleine's been a bit screwed up by it, and is making... dangerous choices, or trying to do things to forget it. It's an easy assumption to make; she's done it before."
He was a prime example, anyway. He didn't think Rhiannon had forgiven Madeleine for that one yet, because she was aware that Madel was using him, and didn't think it was fair.
It was fair to say that she didn't know the full story
"Rhiannon is worried that this could be Madel... trying to get over what she's seen - especially since there's been a lot more to get over since then - and that she'll end up just hurting you both. It's a bit irrational, but the thing is, she thinks she knows her daughter better than anyone else, and that's not true. Shaun would have known her better in this case, anyway. He'd know it wasn't true - hell, even I can pick that one up, anyone with half a working eye could! Rhiannon's always been a pessimist. Besides," he added quickly, to help Madeleine out, "I don't think she's mentioned that to Madel, and Madel wouldn't have worked it out. She'd freak if she heard that."
Bloody women. Rhiannon's fear made bugger-all sense.