Post by Kira & Lee Norris on Jan 4, 2008 13:16:16 GMT
Kira sat on her bed, staring across the room at the long, full-length mirror that was propped up against her wall. In it, her dirty, wavy reflection stared back. Kira watched herself; tilting her head slightly to see the effect of her long loose hair falling forward over her shoulder. It felt so strange, being back in this small, dark room. It was simply decorated; simple in shape with one small, box-shaped window in the middle of the wall. The walls were a faded lilac, there was a small, black-shrouded bed, a black wardrobe and of course… the mirror.
Yeah, Kira didn’t like this room much.
It always felt more cheerful next door, where Lee was. Last night, it’d started to snow, and everything outside was completely smothered in it. Kira had been excited at the time; even gone out in her garden to stand in the slowly swirling flakes, but as the new morning dawned, her enthusiasm had dissipated, and now she detested the idea of going outside.
It meant she had to see people. And how she hated the idea of seeing people right now.
Next door, she could hear her cousin and aunt and uncle all out shouting and playing in the snow. Even her dad had gone out to join them. However, after watching them for a while, Kira had realized Lee was not going to go outside. Why?
Well, she had an idea…
Madeleine might not be here in person, but something of her spirit seemed to linger over them. It wasn’t because of Kira’s aggravation with Lee that kept Kira bringing her up- although that was one hell of a motivator- but the fact that… well… he was still bloody besotted with her.
No matter how much he’d danced with that French girl- how many times he’d flirted and tried to convince himself he was over her- he was wrong. It was… like this snow… the way it’d blanketed everything. That’s all Lee was doing. Smothering it. Suppressing it. And trying to forget.
As if he hadn’t forgotten enough already.
But it wasn’t working. This snowfall was just another reminder of Orchid, and of Madeleine. In a funny way, Kira sort of envied them both. Them and their stupid lovey dovey crap. Out there, Bethany and Jason were running around each other, laughing… throwing snowballs… and stuff. When Madeleine and Lee were like they were meant to be- when Madeleine and Lee were Madelee- there was no-one in the world who could look at them and think they shouldn’t be together. Again, that was yet another reason why Kira was so annoyed. How could they have that; something that was still there, even after Lee had forgotten every d**n thing they’d ever been through, and yet remain separate?
And Kira thought about Deron and… eh.
They didn’t have anything like what Madeleine and Lee had. Sure, when they saw each other- when she wasn’t in school and he wasn’t involved with SCR crap- they had fun. But fun more like… friends. Shouldn’t it be when you were going out together that ‘fun’ just seemed a bit more… special? Before the SCR, Deron had had basically nothing to do with his time. It felt strange, now that he was working and stuff, because it took a direct hit on any time they spent together. The thing was… well, shouldn’t the fact he was spending so much time with the SCR have little effect on them? If they actually… really cared about each other, wouldn’t one of them make the effort?
Or maybe she just wasn’t being realistic. After all, not everyone got the roller-coaster ride of hormones and love and stuff Madeleine and Lee got. Like… what about Ailith and Jude? They didn’t strike Kira as being so… so… lovey? Except again, when you saw them together, there was no doubt that they were happy. They worked. They worked in a different sort of way to Madeleine and Lee, but they still worked.
And Anton and Will- when he was alive- and then there was… agh, Steve and Macy; who just seemed to work. And who else worked? People. Couples. Her parents. Her aunt and uncle. Bethany and Jason.
Marli and Sean for god’s sake! Who knew?
Aunt Black always said-
“Kira?”
It was her mum; knocking at the door.
Kira stood up automatically. “Yes, Mum?”
The woman frowned at her. “Aren’t you going outside? Your friends are asking for you…?”
No. “Maybe later.”
“It’ll all have melted by then!”
“That’s okay.”
Uninvited, but apparently uncaring, her mother stepped into her room, shutting the door tight behind her. That was a habit of her mum’s- she said open doors gave her drafts, even though she never opened a single window in the whole house. Her mother had repeated this habit so often, Kira herself now found it compulsory to shut doors, lest she too catch a non-existent draft.
Her mother smiled at her now, or at least tried to. Kira’s lips didn’t move, but she sank back down onto the bed.
Well, join me if you must.
“You should redecorate this place…” her mother said softly, sitting down beside her. “It’s so… plain. You should add a bit of colour to it.”
“That’s okay,” Kira said softly.
“I’ll do it for you,” her mum said slowly. “Whenever you’re back at that school. You’ll come home and your room will be that much nicer.”
“No, Mum, really! I like it how it is.”
“It’s ugly.”
“It’s mine.”
Her mother heaved a sigh; a heavy, imperious one, as though she just didn’t know what to do with that rebellious daughter of hers. “So… do you like it there? At Orchid? You never replied to my letter.”
“I didn’t know I had to.”
“You could have been dead,” her mother said crossly. “Of course you had to. And you will write every week from now on. You know I can’t cope with that much worry.”
Kira pulled a face. “I’ll try.”
“For your aunt’s sake you will.”
Kira’s head dropped, her eyes now fixed stonily on the floor. Her aunt. Of course her mum would use Aunt Black to guilt her into things. It was a habit- just as bad as the one with drafts and doors.
“I don’t think you know how hard it’s been on me.”
“Likewise,” Kira said coldly. “I took her death pretty bad too, Mum, you know.”
“She was like you… sometimes,” her mother continued, ignoring Kira. “My relationship with her was… frosty, at the best of times. I never understood why you two got on so well. You were so dreamy, and her so down to earth- well-” she snorted- “except when men were involved.”
Kira looked up. “Aunt Black hated men. She told me they were a curse- a mistake Mother Nature made and would soon correct before it got too late.”
Another snort. “Oh, yes, sure, all bitterness and feminism. Now, Kira, why do you think she said things like that?”
Kira glared at her mother. She hated her talking like this. “Because she was right.”
“She was wrong and she hated it,” her mother said, bitterly, viciously triumphant. “She never got it right- not one relationship of hers ever ended well. She always got bored- got sick of him, and wanted more. There were some perfectly decent men in there, you know. But she was a stubborn cow. She held grudges, and never dropped the little, petty arguments. And at the time of her death, she’d just turned down her fourth proposal.”
Kira caught her breath. She didn’t know that. She didn’t know any of this. A little voice inside her head was yelling at her- telling her not to listen to her mother, who was a savage, stupid old woman. But at the same time…
Uncles were flickering through her head…
“You better not do that to me, Kira,” her mother said sharply, looking at her daughter. “Well? Do you have a boyfriend?”
“Yes.”
Her mother’s eyes widened. She hadn’t been expecting that answer. “What?! Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You never asked,” Kira said, annoyed at her mother’s surprise.
“What’s he like?”
“He’s got a motorbike and tattoos. Smokes a lot.”
“Kira, what’s he like?”
Kira sighed. “He’s… nice. He’s a villager. Bit sarky. But we have fun together. We’re good mates.”
“Hmm,” her mother frowned at her. “You don’t sound happy.”
“I am.”
“Then why haven’t you told me about him before?”
“Because,” Kira glared at her mother. “It’s you.”
Her mother chose to ignore her- again. “Good mates? God. You’re the opposite of Hannah, then. She always insisted she was besotted- could never love another man like she loved him- blah, blah, blah.”
“What’s wrong with being friends with him?” Kira frowned, shifting uncomfortably. “It’s true!”
“You’re young. You should be besotted.”
Kira could’ve laughed aloud. “You were just giving off about Aunt Black being besotted!”
“That’s the point,” her mother said sharply. “Your aunt wasn’t besotted. She just wanted to be. She was so in love with the idea of being in love, she never focused in on the actual guy. And when things got real, and scary, she panicked, and made her excuses.”
Kira’s mouth felt dry. “I… I don’t get it.”
“You’re good friends, I’m sure,” her mother sighed to herself. “Yes… I’m sure you are. But that’s not a relationship, Kira. That’s not a boyfriend. And if that’s how you think of the boy, then you may as well end it now, before you hurt him.”
The worst part of this was the fact that Kira knew her mother was right.
And she hated it when her mother was right.
“Oh, look,” her mother said softly, nodding at the mirror. “Look at you. Don’t you make an effort? It’s not like you’re stunningly pretty, or anything, but you have a nice face.”
Kira raised an eyebrow. “Gee. Thanks.”
“No make-up,” her mother groaned. “Hair hanging loose- all over and messy. Slumped shoulders- why do you wear those silly clothes? They do nothing for your figure.”
“What figure?”
“Mine.” Her mother looked down at her own skinny jeans and tight-fitting jacket pointedly. “You’ve got my figure. So it’s not curvy. So it’s small, and skinny. So what? Isn’t that what people want? To be skinny?”
“Not all of them.”
“Well, I’m going to play in the snow,” her mother said finally, meaning she was going to go and stand at the door, and watch people play in the snow. She got up, and crossed the room, opening the door.
“Are you coming?”
“Maybe later,” Kira repeated, feeling like a foolish parrot. “And don’t forget to-”
The door clicked shut, and the room fell silent once more.
Yeah, Kira didn’t like this room much.
It always felt more cheerful next door, where Lee was. Last night, it’d started to snow, and everything outside was completely smothered in it. Kira had been excited at the time; even gone out in her garden to stand in the slowly swirling flakes, but as the new morning dawned, her enthusiasm had dissipated, and now she detested the idea of going outside.
It meant she had to see people. And how she hated the idea of seeing people right now.
Next door, she could hear her cousin and aunt and uncle all out shouting and playing in the snow. Even her dad had gone out to join them. However, after watching them for a while, Kira had realized Lee was not going to go outside. Why?
Well, she had an idea…
Madeleine might not be here in person, but something of her spirit seemed to linger over them. It wasn’t because of Kira’s aggravation with Lee that kept Kira bringing her up- although that was one hell of a motivator- but the fact that… well… he was still bloody besotted with her.
No matter how much he’d danced with that French girl- how many times he’d flirted and tried to convince himself he was over her- he was wrong. It was… like this snow… the way it’d blanketed everything. That’s all Lee was doing. Smothering it. Suppressing it. And trying to forget.
As if he hadn’t forgotten enough already.
But it wasn’t working. This snowfall was just another reminder of Orchid, and of Madeleine. In a funny way, Kira sort of envied them both. Them and their stupid lovey dovey crap. Out there, Bethany and Jason were running around each other, laughing… throwing snowballs… and stuff. When Madeleine and Lee were like they were meant to be- when Madeleine and Lee were Madelee- there was no-one in the world who could look at them and think they shouldn’t be together. Again, that was yet another reason why Kira was so annoyed. How could they have that; something that was still there, even after Lee had forgotten every d**n thing they’d ever been through, and yet remain separate?
And Kira thought about Deron and… eh.
They didn’t have anything like what Madeleine and Lee had. Sure, when they saw each other- when she wasn’t in school and he wasn’t involved with SCR crap- they had fun. But fun more like… friends. Shouldn’t it be when you were going out together that ‘fun’ just seemed a bit more… special? Before the SCR, Deron had had basically nothing to do with his time. It felt strange, now that he was working and stuff, because it took a direct hit on any time they spent together. The thing was… well, shouldn’t the fact he was spending so much time with the SCR have little effect on them? If they actually… really cared about each other, wouldn’t one of them make the effort?
Or maybe she just wasn’t being realistic. After all, not everyone got the roller-coaster ride of hormones and love and stuff Madeleine and Lee got. Like… what about Ailith and Jude? They didn’t strike Kira as being so… so… lovey? Except again, when you saw them together, there was no doubt that they were happy. They worked. They worked in a different sort of way to Madeleine and Lee, but they still worked.
And Anton and Will- when he was alive- and then there was… agh, Steve and Macy; who just seemed to work. And who else worked? People. Couples. Her parents. Her aunt and uncle. Bethany and Jason.
Marli and Sean for god’s sake! Who knew?
Aunt Black always said-
“Kira?”
It was her mum; knocking at the door.
Kira stood up automatically. “Yes, Mum?”
The woman frowned at her. “Aren’t you going outside? Your friends are asking for you…?”
No. “Maybe later.”
“It’ll all have melted by then!”
“That’s okay.”
Uninvited, but apparently uncaring, her mother stepped into her room, shutting the door tight behind her. That was a habit of her mum’s- she said open doors gave her drafts, even though she never opened a single window in the whole house. Her mother had repeated this habit so often, Kira herself now found it compulsory to shut doors, lest she too catch a non-existent draft.
Her mother smiled at her now, or at least tried to. Kira’s lips didn’t move, but she sank back down onto the bed.
Well, join me if you must.
“You should redecorate this place…” her mother said softly, sitting down beside her. “It’s so… plain. You should add a bit of colour to it.”
“That’s okay,” Kira said softly.
“I’ll do it for you,” her mum said slowly. “Whenever you’re back at that school. You’ll come home and your room will be that much nicer.”
“No, Mum, really! I like it how it is.”
“It’s ugly.”
“It’s mine.”
Her mother heaved a sigh; a heavy, imperious one, as though she just didn’t know what to do with that rebellious daughter of hers. “So… do you like it there? At Orchid? You never replied to my letter.”
“I didn’t know I had to.”
“You could have been dead,” her mother said crossly. “Of course you had to. And you will write every week from now on. You know I can’t cope with that much worry.”
Kira pulled a face. “I’ll try.”
“For your aunt’s sake you will.”
Kira’s head dropped, her eyes now fixed stonily on the floor. Her aunt. Of course her mum would use Aunt Black to guilt her into things. It was a habit- just as bad as the one with drafts and doors.
“I don’t think you know how hard it’s been on me.”
“Likewise,” Kira said coldly. “I took her death pretty bad too, Mum, you know.”
“She was like you… sometimes,” her mother continued, ignoring Kira. “My relationship with her was… frosty, at the best of times. I never understood why you two got on so well. You were so dreamy, and her so down to earth- well-” she snorted- “except when men were involved.”
Kira looked up. “Aunt Black hated men. She told me they were a curse- a mistake Mother Nature made and would soon correct before it got too late.”
Another snort. “Oh, yes, sure, all bitterness and feminism. Now, Kira, why do you think she said things like that?”
Kira glared at her mother. She hated her talking like this. “Because she was right.”
“She was wrong and she hated it,” her mother said, bitterly, viciously triumphant. “She never got it right- not one relationship of hers ever ended well. She always got bored- got sick of him, and wanted more. There were some perfectly decent men in there, you know. But she was a stubborn cow. She held grudges, and never dropped the little, petty arguments. And at the time of her death, she’d just turned down her fourth proposal.”
Kira caught her breath. She didn’t know that. She didn’t know any of this. A little voice inside her head was yelling at her- telling her not to listen to her mother, who was a savage, stupid old woman. But at the same time…
Uncles were flickering through her head…
“You better not do that to me, Kira,” her mother said sharply, looking at her daughter. “Well? Do you have a boyfriend?”
“Yes.”
Her mother’s eyes widened. She hadn’t been expecting that answer. “What?! Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You never asked,” Kira said, annoyed at her mother’s surprise.
“What’s he like?”
“He’s got a motorbike and tattoos. Smokes a lot.”
“Kira, what’s he like?”
Kira sighed. “He’s… nice. He’s a villager. Bit sarky. But we have fun together. We’re good mates.”
“Hmm,” her mother frowned at her. “You don’t sound happy.”
“I am.”
“Then why haven’t you told me about him before?”
“Because,” Kira glared at her mother. “It’s you.”
Her mother chose to ignore her- again. “Good mates? God. You’re the opposite of Hannah, then. She always insisted she was besotted- could never love another man like she loved him- blah, blah, blah.”
“What’s wrong with being friends with him?” Kira frowned, shifting uncomfortably. “It’s true!”
“You’re young. You should be besotted.”
Kira could’ve laughed aloud. “You were just giving off about Aunt Black being besotted!”
“That’s the point,” her mother said sharply. “Your aunt wasn’t besotted. She just wanted to be. She was so in love with the idea of being in love, she never focused in on the actual guy. And when things got real, and scary, she panicked, and made her excuses.”
Kira’s mouth felt dry. “I… I don’t get it.”
“You’re good friends, I’m sure,” her mother sighed to herself. “Yes… I’m sure you are. But that’s not a relationship, Kira. That’s not a boyfriend. And if that’s how you think of the boy, then you may as well end it now, before you hurt him.”
The worst part of this was the fact that Kira knew her mother was right.
And she hated it when her mother was right.
“Oh, look,” her mother said softly, nodding at the mirror. “Look at you. Don’t you make an effort? It’s not like you’re stunningly pretty, or anything, but you have a nice face.”
Kira raised an eyebrow. “Gee. Thanks.”
“No make-up,” her mother groaned. “Hair hanging loose- all over and messy. Slumped shoulders- why do you wear those silly clothes? They do nothing for your figure.”
“What figure?”
“Mine.” Her mother looked down at her own skinny jeans and tight-fitting jacket pointedly. “You’ve got my figure. So it’s not curvy. So it’s small, and skinny. So what? Isn’t that what people want? To be skinny?”
“Not all of them.”
“Well, I’m going to play in the snow,” her mother said finally, meaning she was going to go and stand at the door, and watch people play in the snow. She got up, and crossed the room, opening the door.
“Are you coming?”
“Maybe later,” Kira repeated, feeling like a foolish parrot. “And don’t forget to-”
The door clicked shut, and the room fell silent once more.
