Ribbons in Her Hair

[Kira & Lee Norris]

Lee didn't know what the hell was wrong with him, but this morning, when he woke up, he'd had a splitting headache. He didn't remember much of his dreams... just... red. Blood red strawberries; crushing, oozing, dying... And when he'd woke up, he'd been knocked right back by his headache. A Carer had come to see him, but couldn't do much more than to try and heal him a couple of times, and prescribe him some aspirin.
Nothing worked.
Concerned, Kira had sent him some chocolates from down the hall, since she couldn't actually go to see him, but he'd taken one look and felt sick. He kept slipping in and out of sleep, waking up cold and sweating. His mattress felt lumpy. His friends were too loud. His pillow made his neck ache. He was so goddam cold he constantly was pulling his duvet around him, but it only served to make him sweat more.
And then... it stopped.
Lee sat bolt upright, a rush of warmth finally passing through him. The searing pain in his head had disappeared, and suddenly he felt lighter- light-headed, even. Some sort of heavy thing was gone; missing, and in its place was a strange, half-welcome, half-unwanted gap. The boys in his dorm were asleep, but suddenly, Lee himself didn't feel sleepy at all. He turned over, looking over at the clock.
2.00 a.m.
He should go back to sleep.
He didn't want to.
Getting up properly now, Lee quietly and carefully began to get changed. He'd been in the same pair of pyjamas since the previous night, and needed to get into something fresh. Picking up one of his T-shirts, which still smelt of his mother's soft washing powder, Lee headed out and down the hallway to the bathroom on tiptoe. Then, he had a shower.
The hot, blunt needles rained down hard on his head, and battered his back, but he sighed in relief, savouring their warmth. Coming out soon after, Lee dried himself off and slipped into his clothes, running his hands through his hair in a vague attempt to restore some order to its wet, tousled mess. He beamed at himself in the mirror, and sighed, stretching. There. God, it felt good to be better.
Now what?
Bundling up his clothes, he crept back to his dorm, and shoved them in his trunk, before straightening up, and beginning to head down to his dorm, Mike's iPod clutched in his hand. After all, what Mike didn't know wouldn't hurt him. Arriving at the door, and walking it, still barefoot, Lee froze.
It was Maddie.

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

It was 2 am, and she was avoiding sleep.
The night before, Madeleine had had a nightmare, one which she hadn't had before, but with more than a bit of an element of a very, very familiar one.
As usual, the setting was in Lylis Glen - only, as she'd been there a week ago, the image was much clearer. In this dream, the glen wasn't shaded in rich reds and golds; the trees were stripped bare and brown - cold, and dark.
As usual, the second part of the dream was a form of flashback from the night Shaun was murdered. In the first part, it was the same expanse of forest, the same stretch of road - and she always came within inches of Shaun, but never close enough to catch up with him.
This time, it wasn't Shaun.
It was Lee.
And in the second part, she had caught up with him - and he'd been killed on that road.
Madeleine had woken up to the sound of her own scream, something that had never, ever happened before.
So tonight, she'd refused to go to bed. She had had a bath, and then washed her hair, before going down to the common room, and trying to read The Kite Runner, a book that she had been given for Christmas. At first, she hadn't been able to concentrate on it, but eventually it had captured her attention.
But of course, she'd finished the book quickly, and was left staring at the fire. She had written a short story, an attempt at a riff for a song, and had plaited her hair into perfect, even plaits to try and pass the time.
Madeleine leant her head back against the couch, staring up at the ceiling, tracing the intricate detail of the chandelier, trying not to think of the two topics that were on her mind - that were always on her mind these days.
A door opened softly, and her eyes travelled to it.
It was Lee.
She winced inwardly, before taking up her book and notebook and standing up, saying. "Sorry, I was just about to go to bed... I'll leave now..."

[Kira & Lee Norris]

Lee nodded, attempting to smile, but couldn't resist one quick glance of her as she stood. He was on his guard this time; determined not to come so scarily close to temptation again. But it helped that there was a table and a sofa between them. He used these as his obstacles; he refused to pass around them.
"That's okay," he said, "I should probably go back to bed too..."
She was about to leave, anyway. That's fine. Lee watched her as she moved around the sofa; noting her hair...
Plaits.
Lee had always wanted to know how to do plaits. He'd never been able to work it out. He knew it wasn't complex- for God's sake, that prick Levi Ryder had certainly told him so- and Lee would know, if he hadn't been elbowed out of the way. If things weren't so awkward with Maddie, he could ask her again. But it seemed a silly topic to bring up now when-
Wait.
Wait.
Christ Almighty!
Lee's felt a whole spasm of shock run through him; electrocuting him. A light sort of laughter exploded in his head; filling up the gap left by his headache. A light, disbelieving laughter. It couldn't be...
When Lee was two years old, his dad had told him that if he ran away, he would get taken, and eaten by the bogeyman. Lee's earliest memory was a nightmare he'd had- his mother had been playing with his sister, and his father had been writing at the desk, and Lee had been sitting beside him, drawing a picture. Then -crash! The bogeyman had arrived; crashing through the door, a grey, rocky boulder man had stomped through; cackling and calling, "Fee, fi, fo, fum!" Lee had been left to face this monster alone, whilst his parents carried on, completely oblivious...
The two year old Lee had woken up crying and terrified, and had spent the rest of the night sleeping in his parents' bed.
Suddenly, Lee realised the laughter was coming from his own mouth. Maddie stood, rooted to the spot, watching him. Lee tried to speak to her- to tell her- god, the things he could tell her! A new, excited feeling was pumping through him as he raced through his childhood, and through his early days at Orchid... Fragments of joy and pain; some sharp, some blurred- but they were all there; dancing in front of his eyes all at once, a million memories back and in their place.
He could remember... everything.
He could remember Madeleine.
And here was the best part-
He loved her.
"Maddie," he said breathlessly, turning and stepping in her path. "Maddie, I just remembered!"
Remembered? Hell, she'd no idea!
He sobered up now, forcing himself to calm down and look at her. His whole frame seemed to shake. She was there. Right in front of him. And this time...
This time he could kiss her; and this time, he knew it would be okay.
"Maddie, I was thinking about at the campfire," he smiled, and nodded at her plaits. "I was just wondering... will you let me have another go? I'm determined to work this thing out."

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

Lee was laughing.
Madeleine couldn't remember ever being so confused by someone's laughter - it was just so random! It wasn't really a moment to laugh - as far as she knew, there was nothing really to laugh about.
And the sound of his laughter...
Something like that shouldn't be able to cut through her the way it was doing.
And instead of letting her go to bed, to leave, he put himself in her way.
Her heart sank.
Why can't he just let me go?
"Maddie." His voice was breathless, almost excited. "Maddie - I just remembered!"
Her heart stalled, and her breath caught in her throat.
But no. For a second, she'd thought...
No.
It was probably something insignificant, something small and unrelated to her.
"Maddie, I was thinking about at the campfire," he smiled, nodding at her hair. "I was just wondering... will you let me have another go? I'm determined to work this thing out."
Madeleine's hand flew up to her plaits, searching for an answer.
She could teach him to plait, but...
"Lee." Her voice was soft, strained, full of pain. "That's... that's probably not a good idea."

[Kira & Lee Norris]

His face fell. Didn't she understand...?
Either that, or-
No. That couldn't be it. He swept through his new, reassuring list of memories. She loved him. He loved her. And he knew that. It was so bloody brilliant just to know...
And it was worse too.
Because it finally helped him to understand just what the hell she'd been going through ever since Libba had... had done that to him. He finally understood it all; and he half-hated himself for it. And loved all the more her for it. How had she...? Well, that was simple. She was stronger than him. So much stronger. He smiled again at her, full of open admiration.
"Please, Maddie," he said softly, and freely, his hand reached out and touched her plait. Its silky softness brush across his fingers, and he stepped closer, as he'd done so many times before.
"You know how annoyed I was whenever Levi got in our way," he reminded her, a little teasingly. "Don't know what you ever saw in him- he wasn't exactly the greatest guy to rebound off, was he?"
He shook his head, laughing softly, bringing his hand down, trailing her shoulder, her slender arm, and eventually, his hand met hers, and their fingers interlocked.

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

He was so close to her...
Don't do this...
Tears were starting to well up, and she hated herself for it. She'd swore that she wouldn't cry in front of him - but she hated that he was messing her around like this.
He shouldn't... he wouldn't have before. Lee would never have done that.
And his touch on her hand made her skin tingle, but the gentle, familiar sensation was this time laced with pain.
"Did Kira tell you that?" she asked, her voice no more than a pained whisper. "Look, Lee, don't do this, please. I can't..."

[Kira & Lee Norris]

Oh, no.
The tears shining in her eyes terrified him. Maddie... didn't cry. He wasn't doing that to her. He remembered! That... that wasn't supposed to make her cry. Nothing should make Maddie cry.
His features softened, and he bit his lip.
"Maddie, Kira didn't tell me. Don't you get it? I remember."
I remember.

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

Madeleine's breath caught again.
He... what?
How could he remember? He hadn't... a few seconds ago they'd still been as awkward as they were after meeting in that corri-
No. What he meant was that he remembered the Levi thing. He couldn't...
It was silly to get her hopes up. Of course he didn't remember all of it, that was just... wishful thinking. And it hurt because it wasn't happening.
But his face. He looked almost devastated by her reaction...
And immediately, the guilt came. She shouldn't have made him sad, she'd promised...
She couldn't take his hand from his, couldn't bear to break the familiar pattern, couldn't bear to not feel his smooth skin on hers...
"What do you remember?" she asked softly, keeping her eyes averted from his brown ones.

[Kira & Lee Norris]

He smiled, at her. "What do I remember?"
Everything.
"I remember... I remember that your hair smells of limes," he said softly, pulling on her plait playfully. "I remember Kira and you arguing, and how it used to get to me. I remember the first time I asked you out- god that was awful- sarcasm-and-punch partners- what was I thinking?" He laughed lightly. "I've never been that smooth... but you didn't seem to mind. I remember how much I hurt you when I kissed Chloe, and I'm so sorry for that. I'm sorry for what I've put you through these past weeks- sorry for what Libba did to me, for what I was going to do and god, Maddie, I remember..."
And what if she didn't believe him? Or didn't want him? Thought it too much? They'd been a rollercoaster, and he'd always managed to find a new way to hurt her. He didn't deserve her- he knew that. She didn't seem to know how special she was.
She didn't seem to understand why he loved her.
"I remember I love you, Maddie," he finished, his smile fading. "I love you."

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

As he spoke, hope reared its head in Madeleine with an elated cry. Part of her brain quietly checked it, cautious even now. But with every word, that voice became quieter, and quieter, ebbing away and dying…
The black pit was being drained of its treacly, sticky mess – the hole being stitched up with painless, perfect stitches, closing up the gaping wound, piecing her heart back together.
And with his words, a million memories came.
“I remember Kira and you arguing, and how it used to get to me…”
A break-up. An argument. A yell. An insult. A stinging slap.
"If your brother's watching you now, how do you think he feels? Do you think he's proud of having a little sister whose nothing more than another notch on Levi Ryder's belt?"
“…I remember the first time I asked you out…”
A garden. Smiles. Chess. Sarcasm and punch…
"Look, Madeleine, would you like to go to the dance with me, and turn one of the lamest events of the year into an evening of sarcasm and punch? Because if you do, it'll rock."
“I remember how much I hurt you when I kissed Chloe…”
A camping trip. A tent. A forest. Embers.
Even the memory still stung.
“I'm so sorry for that. I'm sorry for what I've put you through these past weeks- sorry for what Libba did to me, for what I was going to do and god, Maddie, I remember…”
“You don’t have to apologise,” she tried to whisper, but no sound came out – only a few salty tears that shouldn’t have come. It was a stupid thing to cry at, but…
“I remember I love you, Maddie,” Lee finished quietly, his face now grave. “I love you.”
I love you too…
He remembered.
He remembered.
And nothing had ever felt so wonderful.
Madeleine just wanted to laugh, or cry, or… or. She just didn’t know. Nothing was good enough to express what she was actually feeling
They were so close that she barely had to move to bury her head in his shoulder and wrap her arms up around his shoulders, pulling him ever closer to her.
And the tears were coming out properly now, but tears of … relief, joy, wonder… Her voice was muffled in him as she chuckled tearfully and muttered, “Don’t … don’t do that t-to me again, you s-stupid Irish b-boy!”

[Kira & Lee Norris]

Lee chuckled too, an enormous ball of relief expanding within him. She understood. Christ, it'd taken her long enough! The thought made him laugh even more. Like he could talk! After all, he could hardly believe it whenever she'd woken up from the coma. He'd been convinced he'd lost her forever.
His arms snaked around her, holding her as closely as she held him. As she wept, he bent down, and kissed the top of her head; the parting, right where the hair separated, and became two plaits. His lips rested there for a moment, then, he raised her chin, so that he could see into her glistening eyes. Even though these were a very different type of tears, he hated to see them.
Moving his finger upwards, he carefully wiped away the glistening silver stream left in wake of the tears.
"Please stop crying," he said, and then, finally, he did what he'd been longing to do for God knows how long.
He kissed her.

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

As he kissed her, Madeleine was irristably reminded of a saying that she heard being used sarcastically when she was younger, and still heard even now.
Want me to kiss it better?
It had never, ever made sense to her. How could a kiss make things better? Especially when the thing that needed to be made better was usually a physical injury. Even at three years old, she was smart enough to be skeptical.
But as Lee's lips stroked hers, everything was being fixed, every pool of hurt soothed. Everything was better; he was healing her with something far greater than a few stitches and the touch of a Carers hand.
And with all of this, there was the familiar rush of adrenaline, the sweet softness of his touch that she'd been longing for for far too long.
This was so different from last time, on the lake - her head wasn't spinning, and she wasn't so hungry for his touch.
This time she didn't have to pretend that she wasn't in love with him.

[Kira & Lee Norris]

And here they were.
This was another memory being forged in the fireworks of what he felt. This was a special memory; his secret; their secret, and one Lee would never let himself forget. Not again. Never again. He'd write it down; write down every minuscule, stupid, seemingly pointless detail. And if... if he forgot how to read, he would draw it. If he was blinded, he'd record it. And if he was deafened, he would just have to hold her, and never let go.
As long as he could still feel her there with him, he couldn't forget.
As long as she was still there.
"Maddie," he laughed playfully, pulling away now, and kissing her head again. "You haven't stopped crying!"

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

He remembered.
He remembered.
The two words were repeating themselves in Madeleine's head, over and over again, a sweet chorus of hallelujahs that were stupidly keeping her crying in relief and ecstasy.
He was hers again; her Lee. She could hold him again, could kiss him without feeling guilt or sadness. She could love him legitimately now... and know that he loved her too.
A wise man once said that the greatest joy was not just to love, but to love and be loved in return.
And Madeleine knew that he'd been right.
So why couldn't she stop crying?
"I know, I'm sorry," she laughed tearfully, wiping her eyes. "I'm so stupid."

[Kira & Lee Norris]

"Yeah, right," Lee laughed. "Poor Maddie. Stupid Maddie. Silly Maddie- I'm sorry. I should be the one crying, not you! I should be sitting here and blubbering like a baby. I should be down on one knee, begging for your forgiveness."
But he just couldn't get that grin off his face.
"Or even... thanking you."
Prof. Hoodham had given him the odds, all those weeks ago...
"What are my odds?"
"6,341,234 to 1."
Trust Maddie to be that one chance in six million, three hundred and forty one thousand and two hundred and thirty four.
See? She was special.
"Maddie, it was you," he told her happily, tugging playfully on one of her long plaits again. "Your plaits- they just- you did it! You were the trigger!"