Post by Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford on Oct 17, 2007 17:38:19 GMT
I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!
Heathcliff's words were seared into Madeleine's brain, at the front of her thoughts even without looking at the letter in her hand.
The post had finally arrived at Orchid, and with it, some bad news had arrived.
I cannot live...
Cecelia, Shaun's former fiancée, was dead.
Madeleine had never been especially close to her, but the news had hit her with a startling force. Not just because she was dead, but because of why she was dead.
She had jumped off Warnicke's Point, a steep drop leading down to the sea near where she lived.
Still, it wasn't even the painful death that was making Madeleine think so much - it was Cecelia's suicide note. It was simple enough, only fifteen words.
" 'I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!' "
The simple quote from Wuthering Heights had sent Madeleine's brain whirring at one hundred and eighty miles per hour. Her mum had written underneath the words of Cecelia's note, in her pretty script:
The things people will do for love. At least she's happy now.
The things people will do for love...
Love was a terrible thing. Love makes you do stupid, stupid things. Love was something that weakens everyone. You can build up a defence, you can build up a whole suit of armor so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other person, wanders into your life, and it all breaks down. It makes even a few simple words splinter, and it opens up your heart better than a scalpel. Love is giving someone the power to hurt you but trusting him not to...
Love hurt.
And Madeleine had just gone and fallen into it headfirst.
Stupid, stupid girl.
She wouldn't go to the extent Cecelia had for Lee, of course not. But rash actions? Yes.
She'd done what no Warrior should do - she'd gotten a weakness.
Stupid Madeleine. Foolish, weak Madeleine.
Worst of all - she'd given it up. Why hadn't she realised this when she was dating him? Then it would all have been okay, right?
Dammit.
She leaned her head back against the tree, glancing at the letter again. It had been here where she had sat with Lee, thinking that Shaun was definitely pulling strings up there for her. So what had changed?
Chloe and Levi were what had changed.
If Madeleine was honest, all of their problems had come from those two, and herself and Lee's subsequent jealousy - and their really, really cr*ppy lack of communication. Had that not happened, would things have been different?
Ye-
No. Of course now. Que sera sera, right?
Right, Madeleine. Don't be silly.
But even above the noises of her thoughts, she knew that she was right. She knew it.
And, did she want to end up like Cecelia - like Heathcliff? Shaun and Cecelia's love story had been one of the worst ever. And Madeleine never wanted that to happen to her. She knew that she was only fifteen, and that people would tell her she was too young, but still - there it was.
She needed to tell him.
She couldn't tell him.
She had to tell him.
Not now, but soon. Before it was too late - because when he told her that he still wanted her, she should have jumped into his arms.
And she'd do it.
Not now, but soon.
Heathcliff's words were seared into Madeleine's brain, at the front of her thoughts even without looking at the letter in her hand.
The post had finally arrived at Orchid, and with it, some bad news had arrived.
I cannot live...
Cecelia, Shaun's former fiancée, was dead.
Madeleine had never been especially close to her, but the news had hit her with a startling force. Not just because she was dead, but because of why she was dead.
She had jumped off Warnicke's Point, a steep drop leading down to the sea near where she lived.
Still, it wasn't even the painful death that was making Madeleine think so much - it was Cecelia's suicide note. It was simple enough, only fifteen words.
" 'I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!' "
The simple quote from Wuthering Heights had sent Madeleine's brain whirring at one hundred and eighty miles per hour. Her mum had written underneath the words of Cecelia's note, in her pretty script:
The things people will do for love. At least she's happy now.
The things people will do for love...
Love was a terrible thing. Love makes you do stupid, stupid things. Love was something that weakens everyone. You can build up a defence, you can build up a whole suit of armor so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other person, wanders into your life, and it all breaks down. It makes even a few simple words splinter, and it opens up your heart better than a scalpel. Love is giving someone the power to hurt you but trusting him not to...
Love hurt.
And Madeleine had just gone and fallen into it headfirst.
Stupid, stupid girl.
She wouldn't go to the extent Cecelia had for Lee, of course not. But rash actions? Yes.
She'd done what no Warrior should do - she'd gotten a weakness.
Stupid Madeleine. Foolish, weak Madeleine.
Worst of all - she'd given it up. Why hadn't she realised this when she was dating him? Then it would all have been okay, right?
Dammit.
She leaned her head back against the tree, glancing at the letter again. It had been here where she had sat with Lee, thinking that Shaun was definitely pulling strings up there for her. So what had changed?
Chloe and Levi were what had changed.
If Madeleine was honest, all of their problems had come from those two, and herself and Lee's subsequent jealousy - and their really, really cr*ppy lack of communication. Had that not happened, would things have been different?
Ye-
No. Of course now. Que sera sera, right?
Right, Madeleine. Don't be silly.
But even above the noises of her thoughts, she knew that she was right. She knew it.
And, did she want to end up like Cecelia - like Heathcliff? Shaun and Cecelia's love story had been one of the worst ever. And Madeleine never wanted that to happen to her. She knew that she was only fifteen, and that people would tell her she was too young, but still - there it was.
She needed to tell him.
She couldn't tell him.
She had to tell him.
Not now, but soon. Before it was too late - because when he told her that he still wanted her, she should have jumped into his arms.
And she'd do it.
Not now, but soon.
