Memories of Angels

[Kira & Lee Norris]

Lee's grandmother had always been a religious woman. She always had seemed incredibly elderly to him, even from when he was very little. He would jump on her knee and be immediately shocked by how frail and weak she seemed. His sister used to tell him that she was a dead woman on legs- and he believed her, because Gran had a terrible withered, drawn old face. And when she spoke, her voice was as breathy and withered as her appearance. Every syllable shook, and every time she closed her thin lips, they would quiver slightly, as though she was about to cry.
She never laughed. Kira told him once that she told her a joke, and Gran started crying. In fact, Gran barely spoke. He'd never seen her smile; or make any effort to speak with anyone else in the family. Lee always knew his Gran wasn't a happy person. He just never knew why. Once, when he'd asked his dad, he'd been told that when Granda died, it took a lot out of her. That's why she was so religious.
She believed she would see him again, and it kept her sane.
Just.
When Gran spoke about Heaven, it was the only time there seemed to be any life in her. Suddenly, she would start to move and gesture wildly. She would speak rapidly, her eyes misting over as her voice began breathier and wispier- like a cloud fading into the distance. Her eagerness seemed almost painful. And she would sleep for hours straight afterwards.
Hours, upon hours.
After her death, Aunt Rachel told him that hope killed her. She gave up trying, because she wanted to die, and go to Heaven and be with her husband. Aunt Rachel then said she was selfish, because she didn't try for her sons, and their children. Lee personally agreed, but he didn't think his aunt should say those sorts of things.
When Gran talked about Heaven, she would say that it was bright, and beautiful. The sun streamed through the clouds; warm, golden rays of light, and fall down on your face, warming it- never burning it- warming it. Then the singing would begin, and beautiful angels would swoop down on their pure, white feathery wings and sit with you. They were your friends- open and honest. In Heaven, there were no secrets. In Heaven, there was just peace, and laughter.
"What's an angel, anyway?" A vision of a four year old Kira swam before him, staring questioningly up at Gran.
"The most beautiful people you'll ever see," she'd replied; her large pale eyes glistening. "They're golden people- bathed in light because they've touched God, and he's touched them. Everybody has an angel. Your's is with you right now, holding your hand..."
Lee opened his eyes, staring upwards into the swaying branches of the trees above him. The light was streaming through them; golden shafts of sunshine... just like Gran would say. Madeleine sat beside him; perfectly silent, but perfectly in harmonywith him. It was strange that he would think of Gran now when he looked at her, reminded of her brother. It made him consider Heaven; so Gran automatically followed. It made him think of the angels that she'd told him would hold his hand...
His grip tightened on Madeleine's hand.
Since when had he become so sentimental? No... not sentimental. Grave. Sombre. Silent. Empty but full. Death did that to him.
"It's a nice day, isn't it?" he asked suddenly; breaking their mutual silence.

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

Peace.
Peace was something that no one could ever really capture. Life was everything but peaceful: insane, hectic, mayhem, bedlam...
Everytime you thought that things had calmed down, they flared back up again. The calm was always followed by another storm.
This was the calm. For Madeleine, there had been a calm until Shaun was killed. Things were happy, the flash of war had quietened down - and nothing was affecting them. Things were peaceful. Sometimes, it was so peaceful, that they wished something, anything would happen. And then it had, and Madeleine became angry. That was the storm. And the storm had kept on continuing.
The battle had been the climax of it. Nothing was peaceful that day. The air had been heavy with tension, anger, blood, destruction and death. The sounds of screaming and gunfire had been everywhere.
And that was what the Warriors lived for. They lived for the storm; not the calm. The calm was boring. The calm didn't bring the adrenaline rushs, or the fast beating of the heart.
Now, at this minute, Madeleine was sitting with Lee in Blueberg forest. The sun was shining softly through the trees on them, and everything was quiet. Silent, almost.
Peaceful.
She wasn't getting the adrenaline rush, or the fast, rapid beating of the heart - but she was getting another rush, and another feeling of the heart.
And for once, she wanted this peace to last. She didn't want another battle; she didn't want another storm. She just wanted to stay here... peaceful.
Lee's grip tightened on her hand, and she returned the pressure as he said, breaking the silence, "It's a nice day, isn't it?"
She smiled at him. "It's lovely... very peaceful."

[Kira & Lee Norris]

Lovely... peaceful...
Peace was his favourite feeling. Perhaps that's why he didn't fear death. He didn't know much about what would come after, but he did know that no matter what, he'd be at peace. Really, death wasn't such a bad fate.
He watched the sunlight trail down lazily, dappled on Madeleine's creamy skin. It was slightly hypnotic. Kira rarely used her powers, but when she did, you knew about it. He'd only been hypnotised by her once but there was something... wonderful about it. You just sort of seemed to float out of existance, and out of the world. You answered freely, because you'd nothing to fear of the consequences.
He didn't know you could feel like that without being hypnotised.
Spontaneously, he leant across and kissed Madeleine on her soft lips. He was reminded suddenly of a time when Kira had kissed him for no reason.
He felt he might understand that now.

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

Lee leant forward and kissed Madeleine.
As she kissed him back, wrapping her arms around his neck, the thoughts of peace and Heaven were still idly running through her head.
Was this what Heaven was like? Peace, and this... happiness? Had Shaun realised this, and was that why he'd never cared if he lived or died?
Was this what it was like for him now? Shaun had had girlfriends, but never anyone serious until Cecilia... he'd fallen head over heels for her, and vice versa. She took the serious, scary thoughts away from him, and made the devil's angel happy. He'd loved her.
Madeleine could remember Cecelia at his funeral. She'd been quietly sobbing the whole way through the service, and when the coffin was being lowered, on that cold, cloudly, rainy day, she'd stood there, straight, tall and proud, the raindrops mingling with her tears. That was the image of her that Madeleine held in her head.
For all Madeleine knew, Cecilia could be dead too. Cecelia wasn't a gypsy, she lived in the town where Shaun had been killed. After the murder and Madeleine's move onto the next camp, the town had become rife with violence. The death toll was extremely high.
Was she with him now? Were they sitting now, like she and Lee were?
Were they as happy as she was?

[Kira & Lee Norris]

As Madeleine kissed him back, his hands moved to her back and down; carefully and slowly. Lee could be shy at the best of times, but he'd had girlfriends before and he at least knew how this whole process worked. Moving down, his right hand slipped underneath her top. He wouldn't move up any more than was appropriate. He knew his boundaries. He wouldn't push his luck. But just the feeling of her soft skin beneath his fingertips was enough...
There it was. That same rush of exhilaration he always felt when he kissed Madeleine. They didn't kiss very often, but when they did... it was always worth it.
Gran had caved in on herself because she'd lost someone she loved. Lee didn't love Madeleine. But even now, he could tell he was on his way. Things hadn't gotten there yet but... when they did, he knew it would be great.
But if something happened to her in battle, would he cave in on himself too?
His immediate reaction was to kiss her a little harder, coaxing her lips open with his tongue. He used to think that it would be disgusting to do this, but you learn quickly enough that it was... nice... in a weird way.
He wouldn't cave in on himself. He wouldn't do that, because of... Kira. In an ideal world, given half the chance, he might. But he was young, and he knew that things always could get better. And he would always remember Madeleine.
He would always remember this.

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

Madeleine moved her hands into his hair. It was soft and silky between her fingers, as it always was. She loved his hair. It was always soft and nice-smelling...
She loved times like these, being with him. Kissing him. But just being with him was enough. It reminded her that in this time of death and bloodshed, there was something worth living for. She wasn't entirely sure how she felt about him... but she knew it was good. She knew that he made her feel happy, and peaceful, and all that jazz.
But she still didn't know where they were. Were they dating, or friends with benefits or... what? It felt like he was her boyfriend, but guys tend to freak out if things go too fast for them. Lee had to be the one to tell her where things were going.
Slowly, reluctantly, she pulled away. "Lee," she murmured, twisting a strand of his hair around her fingers. "Where... where exactly are we?"
Well, she had to know...

[Kira & Lee Norris]

Lee didn't open his eyes for a few moments, letting her words wash over him. He knew where she stood with him, but he also knew that he didn't want to risk anything. What if he scared her off? What if she didn't feel the same way? What if this was some kind of trick question?
And what if she felt the same way...? Would she expect something more of him? Would she want him to do something more, to be something more? What if he wasn't good enough anymore?
Reluctantly opening his eyes, he touched the back of her hand softly, pressing it against his cheek.
Always look people in the eye. Always face up to them. Always let them know exactly where you are.
"Where are we?" he repeated, after a few more prolonged seconds.
Blue eyes staring into blue eyes. Another few seconds passed.
"Remember whenever I said we could be... 'sarcasm-and-punch' partners?" he asked her softly. "Well... if you're willing... I mean, if you wanted, I'd like to take the next step with you. To be... more than that."
The peaceful mood hadn't quite faded out, but a soft tickling in his stomach told him his nerves were starting up. The sun's golden light faded out for a few moments, hiding behind the continually swirling clouds...
"If that's ok?" he finished, not looking away once. His hand had frozen against her hand; his fingers just dipping in between to interlink with hers.

[Madeleine Baudelaire&Russ Ford]

"...I'd like to take the next step with you. To be... more than that."
With those words, a warm feeling that had nothing to do with the sunlight that had just disappeared washed over Madeleine. And something like relief. Relief that she was good enough for him, really.
And they could take it up to the next step, now, couldn't they? Aside from anything else, she'd be able to call him her boyfriend, and Levi would stop with his constant torture.
But she was Lee's girlfriend. Lee's.
"If that's okay?" he finished, looking into her eyes with his blue ones.
She smiled moving her fingers so that they interlocked with his. "That's okay," she said softly, leaning forwards to kiss him.
When Shaun had died, her mum had told her that he'd probably look out for her. She'd been sceptical... but now, she felt that there had to be someone pulling strings for her up there.