Post by misa on Mar 29, 2008 18:48:56 GMT
"I'm done with this. I can't be like this anymore," Misa all but shouted out into the darkness. The business with Arihant had been the final straw. She couldn't deal with feeling so...useless all the time. She couldn't see Ken'ichi, but she could feel his prescene. Sure enough he was by her side in a split second, his breath warm on her neck as he exhaled sharply,
"Misa, where have you been? My God...what the hell has happened to you?
It made her angry. How dare he be so insolent, so oblivious to what was happening to her? She wanted him to see, to feel the painshe was in, she wanted im to e hurting and since she was in no shape to inflict that pain physically words would have to suffice.
"You," she hissed feeling him flinch away with grim satisfaction.
Good.
"You happened to me."
Finally raising her head from its place on her drawn up knees she looked at him. Her normally kaelidescope eyes were dark black, cold; dead.
"Misa, I never..." He began gently reaching out and holding her tired, pale face in his strong, warm hands. He held her gaze, too, as though he was trying to will some life back into it, but it was too late for all that. She closed her eyes.
"Get off me." Misa whispered, her tone as empty as her gaze. Ken'ichi withdrew his careful touch as though burned.
"I'm sorry-" he tried again, but Misa refused to hear his lies again,
"No!" She exclaimed, using all her strength to keep her head held high. "You aren't sorry. If you were you would have stayed dead," it was so harsh, so cruel, so true. "You would not be causing me so much pain and suffering now. Sorry? You don't know the meaning of the word." She looked away, breathing deeply. "If anybody is sorry, then it should be me. I'm sorry. Sorry, I ever trusted or tried to help you!"
Her head swam, her vision blurred with tears (another thing - she didn't seem to be anywhere, but on the verge of or in tears nowadays) but they would not flow - she refused to let them. She would have control. Ken'ichi opened his mouth to respond, but Misa held up a hand to silence him. "I'm done listening, her tone was resolute; unwavering. "I am through listening and answering. It's your turn now. I gave Madeleine your message. She was very concerned. Now tell me, whatt happens next and what in blazes does she have to do with it?" Silence for a moment. Then he sighed, a long deep sigh that only irritated her more.
After what seemed an age he spoke, his voice quieter - measured. She turned and was surprised to find he had moved away without her even noticing.
"I can't explain to you myself. I can only tell you how to end all this. Youll never have to see me again, I promise," there was something about the hollow quality to his voice that made the hair on Misa's neck stand on end. "Tell Madeleine you've found something to make you better, to help you. If she's as concerned as you say, then ask her to go with you and she will. Take her out to Havernsmith fields at sunset tomorrow. I swear it will all make sense at the moment the sun sets." He finished his voice oddly melancholy. Misa ignored her concern for him - she couldn't deal with more concerns right now. She was angry with him, she was. It was easier to be angry.
"You swear, you promise. What good are your promises to me? How can you possible expect me to trust you after all this?" She asked.
"Because I am offering you a way out of this mess we're in," He said, his tone incredibly condesending. Misa was glad of it. Glad he wasn't going to try talking her round again - it was easier.
"That we're in?" She repeated, raising an eyebrow. Not that he saw; Ken'ici had his back firmly to her.
"Yes, we. Like it or not, we're in this together. So, you will be there?" It was barely a question. Misa made a soft non-commital noise. "With Madeleine?" He pushed.
"With Madeleine," She said softly.
Poor Madeleine. Poor, caring Madeleine.How had se gotten mixed up in this? All she had done was be a good head as was her job.
"Try to be a little enthusiastic," He said and Misa wanted very much to slap the smirk she could hear off his face. "After all, you'll never see me again." She didn't even feel that dignified a reply. It was like she was talking to a complete stranger. Maybe that was better. She'd said her goodbyes to Ken'ichi really, a long time ago. Once all this was over she could let those wounds heal properly.
It was strange, when she looked at him she couldn't even attempt to conjure up the warmth and affection she'd felt for him all those months ago. Now there was just nothing.
Jut a great, cold, black emptiness. Only tiredness. And this was all that she would feel until it was all done. Whenever that was. Misa stood, her soul wearied and spoke to him for what she intended to be the last time.
"Ken'ichi I am going to make this perfectly clear. If anything happens to Madeleine, anything, I will kill you." Her voice was emotionless, she was completely drained of anything that could've counted as such.
"Play a different record why don't you?"He said wryly. Her heart froze.
"What?"
"You already did that."Ken'ichi said cooly looking at her and the look in his eye was bored. Before the words could even diffuse through the tense atmosphere Misa was awake and alone. As she had felt for months.
"Misa, where have you been? My God...what the hell has happened to you?
It made her angry. How dare he be so insolent, so oblivious to what was happening to her? She wanted him to see, to feel the painshe was in, she wanted im to e hurting and since she was in no shape to inflict that pain physically words would have to suffice.
"You," she hissed feeling him flinch away with grim satisfaction.
Good.
"You happened to me."
Finally raising her head from its place on her drawn up knees she looked at him. Her normally kaelidescope eyes were dark black, cold; dead.
"Misa, I never..." He began gently reaching out and holding her tired, pale face in his strong, warm hands. He held her gaze, too, as though he was trying to will some life back into it, but it was too late for all that. She closed her eyes.
"Get off me." Misa whispered, her tone as empty as her gaze. Ken'ichi withdrew his careful touch as though burned.
"I'm sorry-" he tried again, but Misa refused to hear his lies again,
"No!" She exclaimed, using all her strength to keep her head held high. "You aren't sorry. If you were you would have stayed dead," it was so harsh, so cruel, so true. "You would not be causing me so much pain and suffering now. Sorry? You don't know the meaning of the word." She looked away, breathing deeply. "If anybody is sorry, then it should be me. I'm sorry. Sorry, I ever trusted or tried to help you!"
Her head swam, her vision blurred with tears (another thing - she didn't seem to be anywhere, but on the verge of or in tears nowadays) but they would not flow - she refused to let them. She would have control. Ken'ichi opened his mouth to respond, but Misa held up a hand to silence him. "I'm done listening, her tone was resolute; unwavering. "I am through listening and answering. It's your turn now. I gave Madeleine your message. She was very concerned. Now tell me, whatt happens next and what in blazes does she have to do with it?" Silence for a moment. Then he sighed, a long deep sigh that only irritated her more.
After what seemed an age he spoke, his voice quieter - measured. She turned and was surprised to find he had moved away without her even noticing.
"I can't explain to you myself. I can only tell you how to end all this. Youll never have to see me again, I promise," there was something about the hollow quality to his voice that made the hair on Misa's neck stand on end. "Tell Madeleine you've found something to make you better, to help you. If she's as concerned as you say, then ask her to go with you and she will. Take her out to Havernsmith fields at sunset tomorrow. I swear it will all make sense at the moment the sun sets." He finished his voice oddly melancholy. Misa ignored her concern for him - she couldn't deal with more concerns right now. She was angry with him, she was. It was easier to be angry.
"You swear, you promise. What good are your promises to me? How can you possible expect me to trust you after all this?" She asked.
"Because I am offering you a way out of this mess we're in," He said, his tone incredibly condesending. Misa was glad of it. Glad he wasn't going to try talking her round again - it was easier.
"That we're in?" She repeated, raising an eyebrow. Not that he saw; Ken'ici had his back firmly to her.
"Yes, we. Like it or not, we're in this together. So, you will be there?" It was barely a question. Misa made a soft non-commital noise. "With Madeleine?" He pushed.
"With Madeleine," She said softly.
Poor Madeleine. Poor, caring Madeleine.How had se gotten mixed up in this? All she had done was be a good head as was her job.
"Try to be a little enthusiastic," He said and Misa wanted very much to slap the smirk she could hear off his face. "After all, you'll never see me again." She didn't even feel that dignified a reply. It was like she was talking to a complete stranger. Maybe that was better. She'd said her goodbyes to Ken'ichi really, a long time ago. Once all this was over she could let those wounds heal properly.
It was strange, when she looked at him she couldn't even attempt to conjure up the warmth and affection she'd felt for him all those months ago. Now there was just nothing.
Jut a great, cold, black emptiness. Only tiredness. And this was all that she would feel until it was all done. Whenever that was. Misa stood, her soul wearied and spoke to him for what she intended to be the last time.
"Ken'ichi I am going to make this perfectly clear. If anything happens to Madeleine, anything, I will kill you." Her voice was emotionless, she was completely drained of anything that could've counted as such.
"Play a different record why don't you?"He said wryly. Her heart froze.
"What?"
"You already did that."Ken'ichi said cooly looking at her and the look in his eye was bored. Before the words could even diffuse through the tense atmosphere Misa was awake and alone. As she had felt for months.