A Soul Already Sold

[Kira & Lee Norris]

ooc: I AM SO SORRY I AM SO SORRY I AM SO SORRY I AM SO SORRY I AM SO SORRY I AM SO SORRY I AM SO SORRY I AM SO SORRY I AM SO SORRY I AM SO SORRY I AM SO SORRY I AM SO SORRY I AM SO SORRY I AM SO SORRY I AM SO SORRY I AM SO SORRY I AM SO SORRY I AM SO SORRY I AM SO SORRY I AM SO SORRY I AM SO SORRY I AM SO SORRY I AM SO SORRY I AM SO SORRY I AM SO SORRY!!!

Would she- ?!
What?
She must’ve misheard. Arihant would never… he was too careful. Even when he didn’t need to be. Even when she didn’t care. Even when…
Did he mean it?
Did he really mean that or was a really… bad joke on his part?
But, God.
But, God.
A strange, hot, prickly ball rose at the back of her throat. It didn’t choke her; merely shocked her as she felt it start to send waves of heat which scorched her back in electric, icy shocks. Shock after shock after flaming, hot, piercing, screaming, freezing, terrifying, wonderful shocks.
All because he’d asked her to dance.
How could Arihant do that to her? How could he smile at her like that- smile like she’d never seen him smile before- and ask her that as if it was the most natural thing in the world?
And how could she reply, just as naturally-
“I’d love to.”

[Arihant]

"I'd love to."
She was so beautiful when she smiled like that. When he'd first met her, he'd wondered if it was just the fact that someone was smiling at him that made that expression so special to him. After all, it hadn't been like he was used to it.
But now, he was used to it. People smiled to him, at him, day in, day out. Kennedy, Lynn, Jamie, 'Cardo, Carmen...
And yet it was never the same. It couldn't even compare.
Clearly it was just her.
Well, that made sense, of course, he thought, trying to bring a little of coherency into his mind. Obviously the smile of the woman he loved was going to be worth a little bit more to him than the disquieting grin of the purple-eyed maniac he was forced to share his dorm with.
He pulled back briefly for a moment, just a moment, and said, "Okay, right, hold on. I just need a second to make it safe."
He took hold of the hood of his sweater, and pulled it up over his head. Then, as an afterthought, he rolled the pullneck of the jumper underneath (two jumpers was not only requisite for him due to his power, at this time of year: Indians didn't do too wellk in the British winter, for some odd reason) up over his chin, so that the cloth covered all the skin that was exposed up to his lower lip.
A little overly cautious, perhaps, but that was how Arihant rolled.
"I know, it looks stupid," he said, his smile going a little bashful. "But it's better this way."
Then, hesitantly, he took hold of the hand that he'd let go of again, and he set his other on her waist.
"You're going to have to lead from here," he admitted. "I... Well, I've never done this before, to be honest."
And the sad thing was that that was completely true.

[Kira & Lee Norris]

It did look stupid.
And it caused her grin to stretch even wider. He vaguely resembled a particular cartoon character from South Park- a rather crude programme her uncle enjoyed a little too much for a man of his more… ah… mature years. Though Arihant’s dark skin showed no blush, Kira felt certain she could feel a little heat radiating from his face as he smiled shyly down at her.
But when he took her hand again, her inner laughter gently faded and the shape of her lips slipped into a softer smile. She felt the strangest of thrills when he held her hand- an intoxicating mixture of excitement and danger. Only the thinnest of material made the barrier between their hands. Essentially, it was the closest she or anyone else could ever be to Arihant. That was a strange thought- she wondered how it felt to him. She wondered, too, whether other people had held his hand like this, like she did now-
Then his other hand pressed against her waist.
Nothing could have prepared her for that.
The contact was sudden.
His fingers touched there first, then the heel of his palm pushed cautiously- she doubted Arihant could be rough to save his life- against the edge of her hip, before moving slightly upwards. The movement ceased as suddenly as the contact had begun. Instinctively, his hand had known where to stop. The perfect spot. Just where her waist began to curve inwards and upwards.
It only took a few seconds. It was the quickest, subtlest of movements.
Kira wondered if she was only being fanciful but… to her… for there was something beautifully tender about that moment.
He took such care when he touched her. Did he take it specially for her, or was caution just reflex on his part?
Kira felt a little breathless. A little giddy. A little young, all of a sudden.
She’d never felt quite like this before.
She gazed up at him; her eyes drinking him in hungrily. She didn’t know if he noticed her attention.
He still seemed so shy…
“You’re going to have to lead from here,” he mumbled. “I... Well, I've never done this before, to be honest.”
A silent giggle touched upon her lips as she gazed up at him.
She felt young… but at the same time, she felt somehow older than him.
“Okay,” she replied softly, “I’ve only done this a couple of times. I’m not very good…” Her cheeks coloured slightly. “I.. well, we count. Look. 1, 2, 3. See? Now with me…”

[Arihant]

“Now with me…”
And his carefulness was tested again, as she started to move. He had to balance himself carefully, so that he would follow her steps and so she would be able to move him. After all, he was fairly sure that not many people would be able to move him if he wasn’t cooperating – or, at least, people who weren’t gifted with super-strength. But he had to be careful, because if he let her have too much control, then he would lose his footing, stumble and fall, and that could result in any multitude of situations from the embarrassing to the extremely dangerous.
He thought it would be complicated for him to be able to strike the balance between taking and giving, leading and being led, trust and caution, but it ended up coming to him far more naturally than he would ever have expected. After a shaky start, he fell into a rhythm with her, swaying slowly to the strains of acoustic guitar trickling in the background. As easy as breathing.
And the balance didn’t just apply to the dance; it applied to him too.
For as long as he’d known Kira, Arihant had experienced a strange split in his personality every single time he saw her, like a fissure right down his being. There had always been two parts of him: the part who knew what he was and what he could easily do to her (as easy as breathing), and the part that…
Well, the part that was falling in love.
And they had always been fighting every time he’d seen her; the part that wanted her close and the part that wanted her far away, the part that wanted to stay and the part that wanted to run, the part that was apprehensive and the part that was terrified. Trust and caution. And that was what had led him to being the way that he was; to being the person who had let her in and then pushed her away so many times that it made him sick to think of it.
But now, as he held her and they swayed to the music, a strange sort of equilibrium settled over him. A balance struck up between the part of him that desperately wanted to pull her closer and the part of him that desperately wanted her to push him away. His love and his fear tore at him equally; so equally that he could stay exactly where he was, where he wanted to be.
One, two, three. One, two, three. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so peaceful.
On and on whirled the dance; and he didn't ever want it to end.

[Kira & Lee Norris]

Nothing about this felt real.
She didn’t want it to end.
But it was.
The song lasted for four minutes, thirty-six seconds.
Much, much too short.
The final bars of the song were playing, now. Kira had wondered about singing, but caught herself out. That would’ve seemed stupid. She probably already looked pretty stupid. Blue hair, red jumpsuit and all.
What had she been thinking?
Her smile had left her lips, now. Her expression matched his; one of focus and concentration. She led him on the highly probable basis that had he been both concentrating on not touching her and leading the dance, he would’ve tripped over his own feet and sent them both flying across the room.
Then again…
His balance had to be good. She’d seen him doing that yoga-
It stopped.
Kira’s hands held on. For a few seconds, the final notes of the song reverberated around the Dorm. They could hear the laughter begin to throb once more downstairs; a loud cheer; a smattering of applause.
The colour, which had faded during the dance, began to slowly creep back up her cheeks.
Her giggle- more nervous now- was also returning. She was beginning to feel a little foolish, just standing there, no movement between them.
He was probably wondering why she hadn’t let go of his hands, yet…
She probably should.
She didn’t.

[Arihant]

Suddenly, it was over.
Or at least it felt sudden. In reality the song had probably been phasing out for quite some time; a lot of music did that, slowly faded away to avoid putting the listener out through inclusion of a heavy ending cho –
No. Now was not the time to be thinking about music theory. Obviously. The point was that Arihant had not realised that the song was ending, and so when it was over he didn’t react immediately. Instead, he just looked at her.
And she just looked back.
And it stayed like that for a while, and Arihant couldn’t look away. He could have moved away to end this moment of staring –
But he didn’t want to end it, did he?
Guitar chords and drums and bass lines pounded through the floor as a faster song came on to take the previous song’s place. The noise shocked Arihant, made him drop his gaze from hers and look away, and he suddenly felt… sort of embarrassed.
And what else was new?
And then another urge swept over him, an urge which would have terrified him if he’d felt it ten minutes ago, but now –
A hundred thoughts rushed through his head at once.
You have your gloves on. The hood of your top is up.
You’ve covered the lower half of your face. Just keep your face away from hers.
It will be fine.
You can control your strength. You’ll be gentle. You know how to do that.
You. Can. Keep. Her. Safe.
And as the five monosyllabic words of that final thought echoed through his head, Arihant…
Arihant hugged her. And he kept her safe.
“Thank you,” he said quietly.

[Kira & Lee Norris]

ooc: AHA. It’s long!

This was the last thing she’d expected.
There were some moments- certain magical moments- that snagged at the course of time, and tripped you up. You never saw them coming. Time seemed like a long, smooth straight road- but in reality, it was littered with cracks and bumps and marks. And when you stumbled, you could only hope that that stumble was due to something amazing, rather than something… not so. Like falling in a dream, these moments seemed to last forever.
They could be a look. A smile.
In other cases, a humiliation. Or that heart-stopping moment before an enemy’s sword clattered down.
Kira had had her fair share of stumbles over time. She'd experienced other moments, too- ones that seemed to race along the road, like speeding cars.
Kira never knew which kind of moment she preferred. Once- after thinking for a long time on a very rainy Sunday afternoon- she came to the conclusion that these sorts of things depended on context. For e.g. if she’d just done something incredibly stupid and the whole Common Room was staring at her and she’d gone so horribly bright red she’d camouflaged into the curtains, she would want nothing more than for that moment to skip itself and fast forward.
Whereas, now, in this moment-
Arihant hugged her. And Kira stumbled.
Unlike the song, which had seemed to slip away at the speed of a thousand racing cars, this gesture was so sudden- so unexpected- that shock froze time completely. Like the initial contact of his hands against her waist, Kira was once again completely unprepared.
Limply, she stood, staring at the dark, woollen material of where he’d pulled up the hoodie to shield his throat. She let him hug her, and he did it very gently, too. Kira knew that Arihant probably had the strength to snap her in two. Not that he would! But.. he could…
Again, he was exercising extreme self-control.
“Thank you.”
She couldn’t quite believe that he was the one thanking her now. Her. What had she done? She’d… sort of taught him to dance, she supposed. Yeah. That was probably what it was. Perhaps that was the first time he’d ever danced with someone since his powers manifested…
Just as suddenly as he’d hugged her, Kira hugged Arihant back, burying her head quickly into the front of his chest.
And that was the closest she’d ever been, or ever could be.
In a vague attempt to avoid giving away just how choked with emotion she suddenly found herself, her shy voice lightened slightly. “It’s alright,” she smiled, still buried into his front, “you don’t make a bad waltzer. I’d say for you to take it up- though I’m not sure if that outfit would be quite… traditional.”

[Arihant]

ooc: Lol, yay! =]

Emotions crashed against Arihant’s mind like waves against a tidal barrier.
This felt so real and so impossible at the same time. And not even just because he was here with Kira, and because they were friends again, and because she had just danced with him.
He’d never thought that this would happen again. When was the last time he’d held someone so close? When was the last time he’d had another human being so near to him?
He could feel her heart beating through the fabric that separated them. Another human heart-beat thumping with his own; beautifully out of sync. The rhythm of his own pulse had become so lonely over the last few years.
And he remembered: the last person that he had hugged had been his sister. He and Vidya had had an argument – something trivial, something that Arihant could barely even remember, but something that had been blown out of proportion by the siblings’ tempers, and the fact that neither had reached puberty yet, so maturity and compromise were lacking. They had barely spoken for days afterwards.
Vidya, four years younger, had been the first to crack under the pressure of the silence. Five days after the argument she had come to Mohana’s room with tears in her eyes and begged for them to make it better, and Mohana, as unable to cope with other people’s pain as Arihant was now, had forgiven and forgotten the argument on the spot and had held Vidya until she stopped crying.
Kira wasn’t crying now, but Arihant felt like he just might as she hugged him back, suddenly burying her head against the material that covered his chest.
Again, it was unreal, unimaginable, unthinkable; and again, Arihant wasn't going to question anything. He wouldn't. He couldn't.
He smiled at her comment and blinked heavily to dispel the tears in his eyes, glad that she couldn’t see his face. And he hoped that he could keep the emotion out of his voice as he, trying to copy her light tone, said, “So says the girl in a red jumpsuit with blue hair?”
Not that Arihant minded the red jumpsuit and blue hair, but it was far from the dresses that he had seen the waltzing Viennese women wearing in all the old pictures that there had been in Austria. But Arihant liked Kira’s costume. It was… different. It was cute.
And he stopped that thought right there, bearing in mind the position he was in now.
“Who are you being, anyway?” Arihant asked. The outfit looked vaguely familiar, but… Well, British culture was still a struggle for him. He needed a bit of help.
(He didn’t let go.)

[Kira & Lee Norris]

ooc: Dude, this is a bizarre question… but what does Ari smell like?

She felt like the band Red Jumpsuit Apparatus all of a sudden.
This conversation was bizarre. She inhaled; a gentle, Arihant smell. It suited him. She couldn’t quite identify it yet. She just knew it made her feel… comfortable. Safe.
Every so often, Kira would remember Deron. Deron, whom she hadn’t seen since that night of the dance all those months ago. Sometimes, she would note the contrast between the two. This was one of them: Deron- particularly towards the end- never made her feel safe. But Arihant made her feel safe. Arihant, who, with one finger could touch her forehead and knock her down dead. Arihant, who with one careless moment of contact, could cause her to crumple, and wilt away, just like that rose…
Yet, here they stood.
In each others’ arms, as though it were the most natural thing in the world.
Her, in her foolish, foolish Hallowe’en costume.
Him, in his equally silly pulled-up hoodie.
They must look so strange. Standing here like this. Making small-talk.
She didn’t mind, though. She closed her eyes, still trying to steady the emotions coursing through her, digging her head in ever so gently closer.
“I’m… Thing One, of Thing One and Thing Two,” she said softly, grateful he couldn’t see the pink flush creeping up her cheeks. “Y’know… from the ‘Cat and the Hat’?”
That seemed a pretty foolish question. Obviously, he didn’t know. She wondered if he’d even read the book. It was a silly book. A child’s book.
Yet she still knew the darn thing off by heart.

[Arihant]

The Cat and the Hat…
Yes, Arihant had heard of it. He thought that he had, anyway. The sun did not shine; it was too wet to play… Yes, he definitely knew it. But where did he know it from?
And then he remembered; it was one of his mother’s books. His mother, despairing of Bhadraksh’s stubborn refusal to learn English, had got her friends to send some children’s books from Australia, hoping that bright pictures would entice him into learning the language she loved. And the attempt had been an utter failure, but Arihant had looked at them. Not much, because he hadn’t been that keen, but he had looked at them to please his mother.
He was thinking about his family a lot tonight. That didn’t usually happen. It was usually too hard.
But then, what else was usual about this night?
She seemed to hold him even tighter as she spoke, and Arihant didn’t really understand that. He knew why he was hugging her, and he knew that the feeling made him feel better than he had in years. And not better in terms of mood – the fact that Arihant held her, and that Kira held him, meant that Arihant felt like a better person. Like a good person. And even though he knew he wasn’t, he didn’t care, because it was her who made him feel that way.
But why was she doing the same as he was? Kira didn’t need to be a better person. She didn’t need Arihant, and yet she still chose to stay here and speak with him and let him hold her – and Arihant didn’t understand why. They were friends again. She cared about him; she must have, if they were friends. But… But was this friends? He knew it wasn’t for him. But what was –
What was this for her?
The thought perplexed him, and he didn’t dwell on it, instead laughed quietly, and said, “Yeah, I know it. I’d forgotten about it, but I know it – I… I saw the book when I was younge –”
And at that moment, the door opened.
And Arihant froze for a split second, and then quickly disentangled himself from Kira, and moved back, his cheeks boiling. And the beautiful moment, the spell that had begun being woven with the dance, was shattered.
Later, Arihant would be severely pissed at Kennedy for ruining it.
“Um, hello,” Kennedy said. He didn’t look like Kennedy right now. He looked like the actor that Lynn had been telling Arihant about earlier, the pirate one. But while the face that Kennedy was wearing wasn’t his own, the emotion was – and he looked exceedingly uncomfortable, having seen the position that he had found them in.
Kennedy was scared of Kira. He never would have cared about being rude if only Arihant was there. But Kira was his Head – Kira had the ability to make his life hell. And after that incident in the forest last summer, Kennedy had managed to put two and two together on that front. Since then he had been remarkably careful not to put himself in situations where he could irritate Kira as much as he had back then.
“Um, right. Guys, I’m sorry to – uh, to interrupt you, but… Well, Kira, people are kind of wondering where you are. I mean, seeing as it’s a Spy party, and all – anyway, I just thought I’d give you a heads up. Before anyone else comes up to see where you are, I mean. ‘Cause you’re not really supposed to be in the boys’ dorms, and everything. You might get in trouble, is all.”
And he looked awkward, and looked away. “So. Um. I guess I’ll just be heading off now, then. Have, uh, fun .”
And Kennedy left them, closing the door behind him, and Arihant was left staring at the door, with completely no idea what to say to Kira.
For God’s sake, Ken…
What could Arihant say after that?

[Kira & Lee Norris]

She barely heard what Kennedy said.
Her face was frozen. Her eyes were determinedly fixed downwards. She watched Kennedy’s shadow disappear out of the room again with him. Its voice was nervous.
Other shadows giggled.
“What a funny shade of pink she is!”
“Very close, they stood, boy and girl.”
“Kira, they’re all calling her name, Kira, Kira where are you?”
“In a boy’s dorm! The rules! The rules!”
“Oh dear, Kira, you’re going to get into such trouble!”
Inhaling deeply, Kira pushed their comments back. There was no point listening to them. She’d taken them away from the Halloween Party, an environment rich in darting shadows and glistening lights. They thrived in environments such as that- that was why at parties shadows seemed to be everywhere. They loved jumping from object to object.
And she’d taken them somewhere dull and quiet.
Of course they were upset.
But Arihant was more important.
He’d pushed her away. She supposed she wouldn’t have thought to move. She would just have hidden her head and blushed even harder at the sight of Kennedy, too surprised to move.
It was lucky, really, he’d thought to move her away.
“I…” a long pause, “I guess we should go, then, huh?”
Her head rose steadily, to meet his rich dark eyes. He could probably see she was pink all over.
How terrible she must look, in her silly costume.

[Arihant]

Her eyes rose to meet his, and Arihant felt a tremor run down his spine as the equilibrium that he'd discovered a few minutes ago was suddenly tested. And it was silly, really, that just eye contact could do that. Eye contact shouldn't mean so much.
But it was different, this time, looking at her. After what had just happened... It felt different, looking into her eyes. Although he had not been looking into her eyes while he had held her, it brought the feeling back into his head, brought it back so that it felt almost painful that he wasn't holding her anymore...
But it was all right.
The equilibrium held. Even when tested with pain and love and everything that Kira could possibly make Arihant feel, it still held. He was...
Well, he guessed that he was stronger than he'd given himself credit for. Always good to know.
And so he could look back into her eyes, and look at the blush on her cheeks. And he wouldn't question her; he wouldn't question himself. There was no point. This was the best that it could ever be. This was as close that they could ever be.
And that wasn't fair, but knowing that this was as good as it would get - Arihant would relish every minute of it. Arihant would memorise her blue eyes and her costume and her pretty blush and he would never forget a single moment. And maybe... Maybe if they were going to be friends, it could stay like this.
Kira would get a boyfriend someday, he knew that. He knew that she would have a love and she would have a life, and it wouldn't be with him, and when that happened, it would hurt like nothing else Arihant had ever experienced. But for now, that pain wasn't enough to scare him off.
Nothing really was, anymore. Not even himself.
So he smiled at her, answering heat springing up on his own cheeks to match her blush. He reached up and pulled his hood down, pulled his jumper off his chin, and when he'd corrected himself, he said, "I guess so."
And he held out his gloved hand for her to take.
Maybe they didn't need to walk into the dance like that, but... just for now.
Just for now.

[Kira & Lee Norris]

As he pushed down the jumper again to reveal his face, Kira smiled gently, admiring the gentle contours of his face; watching his dark cloud of curls tumble out of the jumper’s neck, and fall, loosely to hang. Her hair, though it had been cut shorter during the summer, was probably about the same length as his now- or perhaps slightly longer- though it was impossible to tell due to the blue hairspray.
She didn’t know whether she would miss his South Park parody look. It would begin to bother her, after a while, if she couldn’t see his soft mouth move when he spoke; or if she couldn’t see his smile. Then again, it hurt her, too, to know that now that it was gone…
She could not touch him.
No, she could. But he wouldn’t let her. He wouldn’t think it safe.
That frustrated her a little. After all, he wasn’t the only one who had to be careful. She did, too- and she was. Kira was very good at keeping her distance when necessary. He should really have learned that by now. And they’d danced- had they not? Round and round together? Kira had to be careful, there. And she had been.
So she could be.
This argument was pointless. It wasn’t like Arihant could hear what she was thinking.
But as if he could, he held out his hand to her, and he smiled.
Kira was taken aback at first.
And then she was guilty. So he did know… he did know that they could have that contact that she- that they, she tentatively hoped- both wanted. So he did know she could be careful.
Confidently, she took his hand, and held it tightly.
“Lead the way.”
And thus, they returned to the party together, for the last hour of Halloween.