Shiny and New

[Arihant]

He hadn't thought, once he'd realised that he was in love with this woman, that he'd still be able to get angry with her.
Apparently, he was wrong.
The little spark of fury in his chest wasn't visible, he was sure. He couldn't feel his eyebrows drawing down or his lips pressing together. If there was any outward sign, it would just be the slight darkening of his eyes that, according to reputable sources, happened when he was feeling any strong emotion, not just anger.
Inwardly, however, he was seething. (This was new, too, wasn't it? In February, it had taken so much to make him lose his temper. Maybe all this pretension was taking its toll on him.)
She just had to assume that it was because he didn't value their friendship, didn't she? Ignore the fact that he had stayed in Orchid for her, ignore the fact that they had been friends for months, ignore the fact that she was obviously the best friend he had made here. The friendship may have been more or less over, now, but how could she possibly assume that he had never valued it?
And you'd think that a spy - Head of the Spies - would have noticed that he stopped seeing her so often after the day his friends had suggested his crush on her. Apparently not.
When he spoke, his voice was very quiet, restrained. Other than the fact that the mask had officially dropped, there was very little change in his overall composure, except, of course, the dull throb of anger that pulsed through his voice.
"Our friendship was never worthless to me."

[Kira & Lee Norris]

A savage pleasure burned within her at his next words:
"Our friendship was never worthless to me."
Arihant was angry. She could see it now- the tension had darkened the lines of his face; the colour of his eyes; and stiffened his shoulders. Kira's words had hit home, one way or another.
But his weak response was the equivalent of handing her ammunition in the middle of a battlefield.
"That so?" Kira took a step towards them, her eyes glinting dangerously in the candlelight of the hall. "Then tell me this- why have you been avoiding me?"
Arihant's next words could decide whether or not she pulled the trigger.

[Arihant]

"Because I'm going to hurt you," he spat, and he didn't care that he wasn't supposed to tell her that or that it was possible that even just knowing this would hurt her or that there was no law saying that he had to tell Kira his secrets; it just came pouring out before he even had half a chance to stop it.
"You don't understand," he said, his fists clenching. "You don't understand. We were friends before, but that was when it worked, that was when I could keep you safe. I can't keep you safe anymore. I can't stand here in front of you without wanting to - to kis - to touch you, I can't talk to you without imagining what it would be like. I'm having bloody nightmares every night, I'm seeing you die in a million different places in a million different times and all of it, always, is because of me and I just can't do it, Kira, I can't, I... I can't do this anymore, because I love you."
There.
There, he'd said it. She could do with that knowledge what she wanted, he didn't care anymore. There was no point. He just needed to get away, he needed to...
Why wasn't her face changing?
He hadn't thought that she would be happy. If a monster told you he loved you, you didn't jump for joy. But there had to be some sort of change, she couldn't just stay looking angry, she couldn't -
She didn't just look angry.
She looked confused, now.
And as soon as he noticed this, he realised what he had done. The last of his words were ringing in his ears: Mei tumsey pyaar karti hu. I love you.
He'd said it all in Hindi. He'd said it all in Hindi. "Because I don't want to hurt you," and then just... babble. Gibberish. She wouldn't have been able to understand a word of it.
The realisation made him feel like he had been punched in the stomach. The anger fell away fast.
He felt so small, now, so helpless... She hadn't understood. What was the point of anything? She hadn't understood. He couldn't say it again.
"Look," he said, sure it was English, this time, and his voice revealed the almost-physical pain that his own stupidity was causing him now. "I'm sorry. I really am. But I have to go. I'm going. I'm sorry."
He couldn't even look at her anymore. He was such a coward. He was worthless. He was...
He was Arihant.
And so he turned tail on her without waiting for another word, and he walked away from her down the corridor, his footsteps echoing horribly against the silence of the night.
I'm sorry, Kira.
I'm sorry.
Mei tumsey pyaar karti hu.