Don't Stare

[Kira & Lee Norris]

Kira edged her way cautiously down the aisle, eyes glued firmly on the floor. She passed the beds carefully- even warily; determined not to look at their occupants; determined not to stare. She couldn't stand people who stared- the way they would just stop everything and have a good goggle. Then came the snide remarks to each other; stage-whispered and sometimes savage.
People didn't need to be stared at. It wasn't nice. It wasn't polite. And she didn't want to do that to the victims of battle.
Besides, she didn't need to look up to find Macy's bed. She knew exactly where her friend was. She knew every step of the way by heart; every inch of the smooth, white floor.
Coming to a halt she slowly raised her head, and smiled.
"Hi," she said softly.

[Macy Deltine]

Macy lay on her bed, staring at the celing. She had nothing else to do, she had read all the books that the nurse and brought to her, and right now she just wanted to leave and get back to her life. She heard a small voice near her and she cast a glace to her right to find Kira standing by her.
She moved her head back to stare at the celing again and didn't say anything for a while. She breathed deeply and finally said "Hello."
She painfully moved her body up so she was sitting up straight and twisted her head so she was looking at the blond girl beside her. "How are you?" she asked, taking a sip of water from the glass beside her bed.

[Kira & Lee Norris]

Kira winced slightly as Macy moved in her bed. Everything seemed like an effort for her; every tiny movement seemed to cause her horrible pain. Kira wasn't good at seeing people this way. But Macy was doubly worse. For every broken bone in her body, Kira cursed herself for not using her shadows quicker- for not finding out what to do quicker.
For not saving her... soon enough.
"I'm ok," Kira said softly. "Bit tired though. I hardly slept last night..." It's hard too when Aunt Black comes to call. "... but how are you? Getting better?"

[Macy Deltine]

Macy sighed. She could see that Kira haden't been sleeping much, her eyes were a bit bloodshot and had dark circles under them.
"Yeah, I'm better. I'm getting used to people again..which sounds weird, but it's true." She tapped her glass nervously, freezing it and unfreezing it with every tap.
"When I first got here, I wouldn't let any one touch me..incase they tried to hurt me.." She continued. "Everytime I heard a noise when I was in there, i though it was them..coming to hurt me again. You don't know what they did to me there, Kira." She had stopped tapping the glass and was looking straight into her friend's eyes, her own starting to water and her voice crack up. "Every second of everyday, they were there. I was going crazy. They did things, I don't ever want to think about again. They..they hurt me." And that was all she could say. She know what they had done, but didn't want to say it. She didn't want to make it true.

[Kira & Lee Norris]

The tears were tumbling thick and fast down Macy's face, and Kira just couldn't bring herself to look at her. The head was bowed again; her breath coming in ragged and shallow as she tried to contain her own emotion at the sight of her friend.
"Every second of everyday, they were there. I was going crazy. They did things, I don't ever want to think about again. They..they hurt me."
They hurt you. They hurt you. Oh, god, oh god, Macy, you've no idea how sorry I am. How much I hate myself. I spent so long searching for you- wasted so much time. And I didn't go to rescue you. I should've. I should've torn the place apart to get you back. But I couldn't... I just couldn't. I'm weak, Macy, I know that now. And... I'm sorry.
She'd never stop being sorry.
But she couldn't say it to her. Her tongue worked furiously in her mouth, but she just couldn't spit the words out. They were there; they were screaming and twisting inside of her. But all she could managed was a forced, scratchy whisper.
"Sorry."
It didn't even cover it.

[Macy Deltine]

Macy sighed again and looked out the window. It was starting to rain outside and she could hear shrieks of people who were getting caught in it. She didn't reply to Kira, and was trying to stop herself breaking down and crying her eyes out. She didn't want Kira to feel like this, she didn't want her to regret anything. "It isn't your fault." She said quickly.
The silence in the room flooded over them, even though there was two girls in the bed near her talking. She repeated herself. "It wasn't your fault." She shook her head and felt her eyes water-up too much that two big tears ran down her face. She moaned about them and wiped them with her arm.

[Kira & Lee Norris]

Kira knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to go to Macy, and wrap her arms around her friend and hold her close. She wanted to shield her from this war; and banish every thought of that terrible place she'd been kept. But she wouldn't touch her. She knew how Macy would react if she touched her. But it was so hard, fighting back every impulse she had to take hold of Macy's hands and comfort her. She just wanted to help.
But she couldn't. She'd just make it worse.
"I'm not sorry for... that part; for what they did to you," she muttered, then blinked, trying to say it properly. "No, I am. I mean... I hate them because of it- wait... argh..." Kira paused, taking a deep, slow breath. "I'm sorry I didn't find you faster; and I'm so sorry I didn't go with Madeleine to rescue you. I just didn't think I could do it."
Where was this glory of battle? It'd left her so shaken, and tense, she could barely sit around and just dream... dream like she always used to. She couldn't relax- well, except with Deron, or Lee, but that was different. She couldn't do it on her own.
Another reason to feel bad; she hadn't suffered at all by the hand of the enemy. But she had to apologise to Macy now. Maybe it would help. Maybe it wouldn't. But she owed Macy her apology; even if it meant nothing.

[Macy Deltine]

Macy rubbed her head with her wrist then slid down the bed so she was lying back down. She forced herself to stop crying...or rather a voice in the back of her mind forced her, calling her pathetic. She got back up and hugged her knees.
She didn't want Kira to keep apolgising, it either felt as if she pitied her, or she felt like she could've stopped it, which annoyed Macy. She could not have stopped it, none of them could have.
"No, don't feel bad for me, it just..happened. Ive already got Holden going on about how it's all his fault, which it wasn't, and I don't need any more people feeling bad." She said, trying to act strong.

[Kira & Lee Norris]

"No..." Kira said softly. "Nobody should really blame themselves. You're right. But..." Suddenly, her eyes widened, and she jumped up, a sudden burst of euphoria rushing through her.
Oh, Kira, oh, Kira how unbelievably stupid could you get? It was so perfectly obvious; just that little answer that was waiting in the shadows all that time; always there, just out of sight. She knew what to do. She knew exactly how to help everyone get over this mess.
Shadows.
"Macy," she said excitadly, lowering her voice. "Look... I have an idea! I found you, and was able to send my spies out, because one of my powers enables me to control shadows, so that they'll do my bidding. What if... what if I sent them out, and found the people who did this to you... and... and..."
And what? Only Macy had the right to decide. She trailed off, and beamed at her friend in triumph.

[Macy Deltine]

Macy sat up abruptly. "You can find them?!"
"Yes! Yes, Macy, this is our chance! Tell her to find them. Don't tell her why, just get her to find them." Natalia has rose and was shouting in her mind. "Or maybe, I should tell her..."
"No, Natalia, don't do this to me. I'll ask her, okay? If you come and ask her, then she'll get really freaked out. She doesn't know about you, no-one does."
"Maybe, I should meet her personally, you know, make an impression."
Macy could feel Natalia try to push out of her, to make her shape-shift, but Macy used all her energy to keep her back, but Natalia wouldn't stop. She saw that the tips of her hair was beginning to go black.
"NO!" Macy screamed. Natalia rested, but was still very angry. Macy looked up at Kira who seemed rather scared.
"I'm sorry, Kira, it's just..it's really hard to explain. Just ignore what happened. So, you can find them? Please, try, Kira, try to find them."

[Kira & Lee Norris]

Kira was unnerved by Macy's outburst, but it was ok. It was probably just another side-effect from her kidnapping. She felt a ripple of rage. It was only another thing to hate them for.
"I can do it now," she replied, sitting down beside the bed.
There they were, like always, sitting and waiting beneath the dark spaces. She leant forward to hear them whisper. After a few moments, she got back up, to watch them snake up the wall, pausing to wait at the window.
"I need a physical description," she said in explanation.

[Macy Deltine]

Macy closed her eyes. She didn't want to picture the people who did this to her at all. But she had to. She breathed deeply, about to take the plunge into her momeries. She thought back to when she first her torturer. He was so disgusting.
"Um.." she said, her eyes still closed. "He..he was big - fat. Well..not really fat, just big. He was bald-ish, and had murky blue eyes, and stubbly fingers.." She said, tears beginning to fill her eyes again. "And big ears, and fat legs, and a slight bit of hair around the edge of her head, and a scar across his wrist, and..a tattoo..on his upper-arm..off a snake, about to bite something...and he had five-o'clock shadow, and when he made a fist, it was about the size of a hamburger, and it gave such a blow..." She said, her eyes still closed and clutched her stomach. She was so immersed in giving the description that she had almost forgotten about why she was giving it.

[Kira & Lee Norris]

Kira closed her eyes for a few moments; trying very hard to concentrate on the description, and the description only. She wouldn't lose herself to the dark thoughts that danced wildly around her head; to hear them and see them taunt her was nothing short of torture. Before now, she would always have said imagination was a glorious thing; a gift; a place she could think and feel without shame.
Now... now it sickened her.
She was spared the trouble of fighting back her thoughts back the soft whisperings of the shadows. She turned to them, listening to them closely.
"They need to know... his rough weight and height."

[Macy Deltine]

"I- I don't really know how much he weighed..probably about 16, 17 stone, maybe? He was big..and he must have been about my height, although I was tied up, so I wasn't standing up straight, but he was about 5ft 10, probably." She looked up and Kira again. "Thank-you for doing this, it's just..I have to find him...I have to..." She said, looking at her hands.

[Kira & Lee Norris]

There it was again. That mad urge to just take her hands and... and... say something. Anything.
Look away, Kira. Look away.
Kira gulped, and turned to her patient shadows as they hovered at the window. "She said around 5ft 10, and perhaps 16 or 17 stone. What... what do you need that information for anyway?"
"It gives us an idea of the shadow we track... Now we can tell its rough formation... but oh, pity the poor lost girls. We see her shadows cry. It will not speak with us. It wants to be alone."
"Mmm-hmm," Kira managed a weak nod.
"Her shadows are tainted. Beaten. Broken."
"So you help."
"Or we make it worse. We do not choose. We obey you."
"Go now," Kira urged them, and so they did, flitting through the window and out into the open. Sighing, she turned back to Macy and gave her a smile. "I should probably get going too. Visiting times are over now..." her voice dropped to a whisper, "and don't worry anymore, Macy. They've gone to find him. And they will find him. Ok?"