Memories of Angels

Lee's grandmother had always been a religious woman. She always had seemed incredibly elderly to him, even from when he was very little. He would jump on her knee and be immediately shocked by how frail and weak she seemed. His sister used to tell him that she was a dead woman on legs- and he believed her, because Gran had a terrible withered, drawn old face. And when she spoke, her voice was as breathy and withered as her appearance. Every syllable shook, and every time she closed her thin lips, they would quiver slightly, as though she was about to cry.
She never laughed. Kira told him once that she told her a joke, and Gran started crying. In fact, Gran barely spoke. He'd never seen her smile; or make any effort to speak with anyone else in the family. Lee always knew his Gran wasn't a happy person. He just never knew why. Once, when he'd asked his dad, he'd been told that when Granda died, it took a lot out of her. That's why she was so religious.
She believed she would see him again, and it kept her sane.
Just.
When Gran spoke about Heaven, it was the only time there seemed to be any life in her. Suddenly, she would start to move and gesture wildly. She would speak rapidly, her eyes misting over as her voice began breathier and wispier- like a cloud fading into the distance. Her eagerness seemed almost painful. And she would sleep for hours straight afterwards.
Hours, upon hours.
After her death, Aunt Rachel told him that hope killed her. She gave up trying, because she wanted to die, and go to Heaven and be with her husband. Aunt Rachel then said she was selfish, because she didn't try for her sons, and their children. Lee personally agreed, but he didn't think his aunt should say those sorts of things.
When Gran talked about Heaven, she would say that it was bright, and beautiful. The sun streamed through the clouds; warm, golden rays of light, and fall down on your face, warming it- never burning it- warming it. Then the singing would begin, and beautiful angels would swoop down on their pure, white feathery wings and sit with you. They were your friends- open and honest. In Heaven, there were no secrets. In Heaven, there was just peace, and laughter.
"What's an angel, anyway?" A vision of a four year old Kira swam before him, staring questioningly up at Gran.
"The most beautiful people you'll ever see," she'd replied; her large pale eyes glistening. "They're golden people- bathed in light because they've touched God, and he's touched them. Everybody has an angel. Your's is with you right now, holding your hand..."
Lee opened his eyes, staring upwards into the swaying branches of the trees above him. The light was streaming through them; golden shafts of sunshine... just like Gran would say. Madeleine sat beside him; perfectly silent, but perfectly in harmonywith him. It was strange that he would think of Gran now when he looked at her, reminded of her brother. It made him consider Heaven; so Gran automatically followed. It made him think of the angels that she'd told him would hold his hand...
His grip tightened on Madeleine's hand.
Since when had he become so sentimental? No... not sentimental. Grave. Sombre. Silent. Empty but full. Death did that to him.
"It's a nice day, isn't it?" he asked suddenly; breaking their mutual silence.